And then his hand moved to sit atop hers.
His tanned fingers curled around hers protectively. “I am so sorry.”
MISDIRECTION
Remorse flooded him.
Had he not already caused her enough pain? Was she now to be punished even further for her association with him? He turned and lifted her hand to his lips. Dirt clung to her nails, but her fingers felt tiny and fragile. “Whatever you need. Danbury will be more than happy to assist. In fact, I will make certain he is.” It was more important now, than ever, for Michael to avoid her.
If not for his own good, then for hers, by God.
He needed to make damn sure her stepdaughter secured her match.
When he’d lifted their hands, Lilly turned slightly to face him, but her eyes were closed. “Will it never end?” she asked. And then she leaned forward, her head hitting him in the chest, just below his chin. He should not, but he placed one hand upon her back and held her closer. She turned her head and rested her cheek upon his jacket. When her arm wrapped around his waist, he could not stop himself from lifting his other hand to stroke her hair. She smelled of soap and dirt and honey. His Lilly.
His precious Lilly.
Would what never end? Her torment? Her unhappiness? Their love? Had it even really ended all those years ago? He had no answer for her. He was not free to follow his baser inclinations.
“Joseph Spencer is a good man, of a good family,” Michael said instead, wishing to reassure her. “If he intends to make an offer to Miss Beauchamp, I do not believe he can be dissuaded. Even so, I won’t let Hawthorne hurt you.”
He should never have let Beauchamp hurt her. Or her father. Or himself, for God’s sake. “Lilly, I am so sorry…so…For everything.”
Lilly pulled away, and Michael’s hands dropped to the bench. “I didn’t tell you about Hawthorne so you would solve my problems, Michael. And I do not wish you to feel as though you are responsible for this.” She looked at him earnestly now. “I simply wanted you to know what that evil man is up to. And I wanted you to understand why I sent you away from me last night. I do not want you to feel guilty. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Oh, but he did. He was sorry as hell they’d been separated. He was sorry he’d found her again. And he was sorrier than anybody could even know that he’d promised himself to Lady Natalie.
Sitting beside her now, he had an overwhelming urge to carry her to the soft grass. To lie beside her. To bury himself inside of her.
But she was as much an impossibility now as she had been nearly a decade ago, while he’d been trapped inside Summers Park, under a quarantine he’d ordered himself.
“I just wanted you to know…that’s all…” She spoke in a whisper, unable to meet his eyes any longer.
Michael took a deep breath and then released it slowly. “I’ll speak to Danbury. He will assist you. But Lilly,” he saidseriously, “promise me if Hawthorne makes any further threats, you will send for me. If you need anything, and I mean anything at all, allow me to provide it. I have endless resources. There is no reason you should ever lack for anything.”
Except for him.
Lilly wanted to protest.She would never,evertake anything from him. Doing so would tarnish what they had had. She couldn’t bear his pity. She had endured much worse. She could live through this. “I will send word through Danbury if I am threatened again. But I will not need anything, Michael. Please do not ask me to promise that.” She tilted her head and looked into his eyes. Oh Lord, they were mesmerizing. Even more so now that he had matured.
And then to signal the end of their meeting, she stood up. She could not sit here alone with him and deny herself any longer. She ought not to have leaned into him, embraced him, in her moment of weakness.
Michael, of course, rose to his feet as well. At his full height, so very near to her, she again fought the urge to step into his arms.
She took a step backward and then turned back toward the house. He followed silently. Once they reached the foyer, he turned and bowed deeply. “Take care, Lilly,” he said, his voice a little gravelly. It seemed as though he were going to say more, but he pinched his lips together instead and then disappeared onto the street.
Lilly covered her mouth with one hand in order to hold back a gasp. A gasp of pain, for surely this was the end. Neither of them would seek the other out again.
Later that same day,Lilly received another visitor. This one none other than Viscount Danbury.
Her aunt and Glenda had both left a short while before for what promised to be an elaborate garden party hosted by Penelope’s parents. Lilly had planned to attend, but after spending too much time on her injured ankle that morning, her aunt insisted she rest.
She felt decidedly depressed.
Which left her with mixed feelings when Jarvis announced the viscount’s visit. A part of her had been happy to be alone, but another part was irritated with her feelings of self-pity and regret. A thousand times already that afternoon, she had berated herself for not taking just a few more moments to be alone with Michael. And another thousand times she’d berated herself for allowing herself to hold him.
Entering the room tentatively, Danbury took in her elevated foot and shook his head. “Oh, no, my lady. This simply will not do.” He carried a bouquet of roses. Oh, how she hated roses. But he was smiling and bowed low before her. “I require any lady I squire about town to look merrier than this.” His tone was teasing but also understanding.
She gestured for him to sit and then forced herself to appear cheerful…and welcoming. “Lord Danbury.” She graciously accepted the bouquet. “You should not have. You most definitely should not have.” She pulled upon the bellpull and quickly handed the aromatic flowers off when Jarvis entered. “I take it you have spoken with Mich—the duke?”
