“You’ll need assistance. I can come along and be your lookout.” Lilly offered her services brazenly. Both Mary and Glenda looked at her as though she’d suddenly sprouted wings.
Before the words were even out of her mouth, Michael was shaking his head. “Absolutely not.” His tone forbade contradictions.
Best to cut ties with Lilly now, before she crawled any further under his skin. As it was, he already felt a renewed connection with her, and notions leading in that direction were impossible. He didn’t blame her any longer. At least he didn’t think he did. Blaming himself wasn’t useful either.
He would part company with them in Reading.
He’d spent months berating himself for not getting word to her despite the quarantine. For all intents and purposes, circumstances made it look as though he’d abandoned her. He’d taken her innocence and then not contacted her for nearly a month. Had there been repercussions from the night under the waterfall?
There had not been.
Michael had, in fact, made certain to discover this forhimself. When informed that the Baroness Beauchamp was most definitely not with child, he had been greatly relieved.
He’d also been irrationally disappointed.
Lilly was his past. Lady Natalie was his future.
With his luck changing,Michael acquired a respectable mount when they arrived at the Reading posting inn. He gave strict instructions for Arty to see the women to their lodgings in London and to be certain of their welfare before taking leave of them. The women had gone into the inn for lunch and to freshen up.
He would say goodbye to Lilly with Glenda and the maid looking on. It would be for the best.
Handing the mare off to Arty, Michael turned to go in search of the private dining parlor where they would be eating.
Except, that would not be necessary.
A flash of Miss Fussy out of the corner of his eyes, alerted him that Lillie had remained outside. She would care more about exercising her pup than dining in leisure. She played with the dog, unaware he was looking on.
This time, he would tell her goodbye. There must have been smoke in the air nearby, for his eyes burned as he memorized her features.
When he arrived at her side, he didn’t speak right away. A breeze carried a hint of her perfume in his direction. It was the same: hyacinth and citrus. Warm and delicate—like Lilly. A lump formed in his throat.
“My outrider will continue with your party.” He spoke rather stiffly. He didn’t look directly at her.
Lilly nodded,understanding his discomfort. She’d given him her body, once, but that was ancient history. He owed her nothing now. The promises they’d made to one another were null and void. They had been for years. It was best that they part.
The fool! He planned on travelling to the Earl of Hawthorne’s estate alone!
“That’s fine. Thank you, Your Grace.” She thought he should take somebody along with him but didn’t want to feel the sting of his rejection again. So, she simply responded evenly.
But she had other ideas…
“I do appreciate all you have done for me. You did not have to offer me conveyance along with your party. Your assistance has been invaluable.” His voice was distant, that of a stranger almost.
“My pleasure,” she said, “Your Grace.” She didn’t mean to sound petulant. She wanted to be able to think they could remain friends, but that was impossible. There was too much sentiment left between them, for her anyway—too many memories for her to be friendly and cordial.
As strong as she thought she had become over the past years, she would rather not watch him marry another woman. She was not a glutton for punishment.
She turned toward him and attempted a smile. “I do wish you luck in everything. I hope you recover your documents so you can pass your amendment, and I—well, I wish you happiness in your marriage.” She could say no more lest she make a fool of herself and allow her tears to come. She bent down and clapped her hands. “Come now, Miss Fussy. Come to Mummy!”
The dog ignored her for a moment and then ran and jumped into her arms. Her legs shook as she rose to stand. She could not go back into the inn and make conversation with Glenda and Mary. Hopefully, they were nearly ready to depart.
Michael bowed toward her. “Goodbye, Lilly.” No regret in his voice, only a steely determination to be on his way. This was worse than she could have imagined.
Lilly nodded in his direction and then turned with her dog to climb into the carriage. She wished the carriage could whisk her away from him, leaving clouds of dust in their wake.
But wishes were just that. Wishes.
And her dignified exit was eclipsed by the fact that she had to sit in an unmoving carriage awaiting the arrival of the other occupants.
