Contempt.
And in that moment, a thought crossed my mind, one that probably should’ve scared me more than it did.
He’s lucky I’m not the one holding the knife.
I spun around to walk off set, but… The floor was slippery now. It might have been comical if any of it had been rehearsed or planned. Or if my heart hadn’t been broken into a thousand pieces.
Oh, the joy of live television… I watched myself fall back, arms flailing, my skirt flying up as my ass hit the floor. I was lucky, really, not to have given myself a concussion.
So much for making a grand exit.
The video ended.
I was back in the booth in a small mountain-town restaurant, sitting across from Noah Grady. My breath was uneven.
When I finally looked up, Noah’s brows were furrowed. He had watched the entire thing in silence, not commenting when I’d recited the contents of Kensi’s messages.
After a slow blink, he dragged his gaze back to mine. “Were you injured?”
“What?”
“The fall. Were you hurt?” He winced.
“Oh…” It was the doctor in him. “No. I was fine. Physically.”
Noah’s eyes seemed to search mine, almost as though to make sure for himself. And then, “Did you know he was cheating before?”
I shook my head.
“And this all happened live?”
“Yeah.” I exhaled. “But…when I realized what those texts meant, it didn’t matter. Something just…snapped in me.”
I hadn’t watched the video since the night before I left for the airport. Oddly enough, it was the first time I’d been able to watch it without throwing my phone across the room. Without collapsing into a heap of despair.
“That job was my life,” I explained. Leo had been my life. I couldn’t separate those pieces: Leo, the show, my job. My life.
“When I…lost it—the show—I also lost all my friends. And because we had gotten to be pretty well-known locally, I couldn’t go anywhere in town without someone bringing it up.” I exhaled. “Ever since, I’ve had these little attacks. But I’m okay. I mean, I will be. I just need to get over it.”
Noah didn’t look convinced.
But he didn’t say anything right away, and neither did I, both of us just marinating in silence until Bodie came by to drop off our food.
Once we were alone again, Noah picked up a fry and popped it into his mouth.
“I mean, that was…kinda beautiful—minus the last part,” he said after a pause. “He deserved it, right?”
“It was horrible,” I immediately contradicted him and then stared down at my soup. Tomato bisque. Leo would have said it was too pale, that they’d added too much cream, but honestly, can anyone ever have too much cream in a good bisque? I scooped up a spoonful and blew on it a little before touching it too my lips.
“What do you wish you’d done differently?” Noah asked right before taking a bite of his burger.
“Waited until we weren’t on air anymore, that’s for sure,” I answered automatically. “And walked out with some dignity.”
“Would it have changed anything?” I didn’t think he was trying to irritate me, but I hated it when people asked questions that I didn’t know the answers to.
Because, honestly, I wasn’t sure what I would have done, how else I would have handled it.
“You worked together, right?” he went on when it became obvious I didn’t have a reply.
