I swallowed and looked away, and suddenly, I was in a different church—one with modern carpets and cushioned pews.
My father’s funeral.
The air had been thick with lilies and quiet condolences, but the only thing I could focus on was my mother. She stood on the opposite side of Ashley, dry-eyed, her back straight, her hands clasped so tightly together they looked carved from stone.
And I had been the opposite. A mess. Red-faced, sobbing, shaking.
I’d felt…weak, like my grief was something embarrassing, something shameful. I knew she mourned him—of course, she did—but she’d refused to let anyone see it. Refused to let me see it.
And that day…Leo had been my rock. I’d held onto his hand like a lifeline.
He hadn’t just been there—he had been there, wiping away my tears, pulling me close. And when I’d broken down, he hadn’t hesitated to wrap me up in his arms, letting everyone see how much he felt things.
At the time, it had been a relief to be with someone who didn’t hide. Someone who didn’t make me feel weak for breaking. Unfortunately, though, we hadn’t been able to stay for the reception. We’d had to drive right back down to Newport so Leo could meet with one of our producers.
Pictures from that day were right there on his Instagram feed. Proof that he had loved me.
Or had it all just been part of the show?
My chest tightened.
What was it Morty had told Babs about the mountains? That you came to them to get a better view of yourself?
Maybe, that was why I was here. Not just to take up this seat that my mom had paid for, and not even just to run from all my problems at home, but to get a better view of myself.
Maybe it was fate.
Leo would laugh if I ever mentioned something like that to him. It would be a gentle, humoring kind of laugh, but it would have made me feel small for believing in something he didn’t. At some point, I’d simply…
It had been easier to keep those thoughts to myself.
Now, though, without his gigantic presence in my life, I didn’t have to worry about his opinions.
Something fluttered in my chest. This vacation had barely begun, and I felt more adrift than ever. I didn’t have any answers. If anything, I had more questions than ever about myself.
But maybe that was the point.
NAMES FOR FACES
A little more than an hour later, the bus dropped us off in the middle of downtown Estes Park, the main street lined with rustic storefronts and colorful window displays, advertising everything from rocks to toffee. And again, I noticed that crisp mountain air. Only, this time, along with the scent of pine, it carried something sweet—maybe caramel or fudge from one of the many candy shops.
A cluster of us drifted along the sidewalk, stretching our legs after the drive, and then gradually scattered into smaller groups. Babs, naturally, seemed to know most of them already. She’d proudly admitted to having made the rounds at the meet-and-greet the night before and seemed to believe it was her responsibility to introduce me to all of them as well.
I kept mostly silent, trying to focus on at least remembering their names.
“Ed and Eddie are honeymooning on this trip,” Babs said, nodding toward the couple ahead of us in matching T-shirts, walking hand in hand with a kind of practiced rhythm.
“Ed and Eddie?” I raised a brow.
“Ed’s the husband, and Eddie is short for Edwina,” she explained. “He’s mostly here for the slot machines in Vegas, if you ask me.”
Up ahead, Eddie gave Ed a playful swat on the arm—just hard enough to make a sound. He let out a low chuckle and nudged her with his shoulder. She huffed and kept walking, but their hands stayed linked, swinging between them.
Not exactly swoony, but…kind of adorable in its own way.
A few steps beyond the Eds, were Noah Grady and his mother—not entirely separate, but keeping an intentional distance. Mrs. Grady led the way from shop to shop, scanning displays somewhat critically, while her son trailed behind without complaint. He wasn’t particularly animated, but I wouldn’t say he looked bored. Patient, maybe. Distant.
I half-expected him to check his phone or rush her along, but he didn’t. And I didn’t know why, but that surprised me.
