Time for a taste. The chicken was tender, the tarragon bright, and the mayo smooth. But something was still missing. The flavors didn’t sing yet.
I reached for the salt cellar, pinching just a bit between my fingers and sprinkling it in. Stirred. Tasted again.
Better.
At eighteen, I had moved away from my family to the big city. I’d chased what I’d wanted unapologetically.
Yes, I’d been naïve. But I’d also been fearless.
And now I needed to be stronger. I needed to take the best of who I was and anchor it to who I was now.
Even if it wasn’t always comfortable—especially if it wasn’t—even if it occasionally landed me in icy water, I would own my life again.
But I was done living like I was powerless.
Was the road ahead overwhelming? Abso-forking-lutely.
But the thing about surviving the worst—once you’ve done that, you realize you can survive just about anything.
Pepper. It needs more spice.
I grabbed the grinder, gave it a few good twists, and felt the sting hit my nose almost instantly.
“Aah, ahh…choo!” I barely turned in time before the sneeze hit.
Blinking, I dabbed at my eyes—at the tears that had nothing to do with the pepper.
Then I rinsed my hands, letting the cool water run over my fingers as my thoughts drifted again.
I hadn’t meant to fall for a guy like Noah.
Definitely hadn’t planned on falling in love.
But I had.
Which meant that in the middle of reclaiming myself, in the middle of trying to dig myself out of this massive hole, I was…
Heartbroken!
But I refused to regret it. Because loving him had been real.
I had lived again.
And it had been worth it. He had been worth it.
So, I allowed myself to live both truths.
I was hurting.
But I was also healing.
I slid the bowl into the fridge to chill and moved on to the bread, slicing it with long, even strokes.
Pep talks and resolutions were fine, but if I was also going to keep living, I had to start fixing my problems on my own—taking action, making decisions, standing on my own feet again.
So, I did what most normal people do when faced with insurmountable problems.
I went on Google.
