Wait. “What?”
“I suppose Christine is right. Morty and I tried, you know, but… It wasn’t meant to be.”
Even as I pushed the button for my floor, a weird sensation pricked the back of my neck. Probably because I wasn’t used to Babs looking so…sad. “But you wanted children?”
“Early on. And we tried.” I saw a flash of the Babs I was used to when she winked over at me. “The old-fashioned way, not like people do nowadays, what with implanting test tube babies and whatnot. Just figured it wasn’t meant to be.”
“But you and Morty were happy?” I said, only partly a question. From what she’d told me about him before, it sounded like they had loved each other very much while Morty had been alive.
Maybe some of her melancholy was because she, too, might be feeling the end of this trip coming up suddenly as well.
“Oh, yes, we were happy. We definitely had our fair share of fun.” A little of her normal gleam returned to her eyes. “Are you having fun, dear?”
It didn’t matter if she was asking an innocent question about the tour or if she was making some sort of innuendo about Noah and I. Either way, I didn’t even have to think about it, and I was tired of hiding it. “So much!”
“I’m glad for you.” She squeezed my arm a little. “Just know, whatever happens, don’t ever forget that you are an independent, talented, courageous woman.”
Talk about a targeted missile. I swallowed hard, and when the elevator stopped and the doors opened, I covered her hand with mine and squeezed right back. “I won’t.” I stepped out, and when Babs didn’t, I held the doors open. “Hey, Babs?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Thanks.”
The doors closed, and as I checked the signs to our room, I felt an easing in my heart.
Babs was right. I needed to embrace my feelings but also know that something had shifted inside me. And whatever Leo had taken hadn’t been put back by Noah, but rather…Noah had helped me find it.
Even if our time together was only a short fling, even if it would one day become little more than a happy memory in the rearview mirror.
I’d survive.
FLING AWAY
I slipped into the hotel room and let the door fall shut behind me.
For a moment, I just stood in the short entryway, breathing in the silence. I couldn’t unpack since our luggage hadn’t been unloaded from the bus yet, but it wouldn’t have mattered just then. I just needed the quiet. No one around, nothing to do.
I crossed to the window and pulled back the curtain to reveal the stunning view of the parking lot, which, compared to the view from our hotel on the South Rim, was considerably unspectacular.
I leaned my forehead against the glass and closed my eyes.
This thing with Noah—these feelings were so much different from anything I’d ever felt with Leo.
They were an odd combination—comfortable and exciting, tender and passionate all at once.
Being with Noah felt easy in a way that surprised me. Like I could tell him anything and trust that he’d listen, not judge.
Well, almost anything. I hadn’t quite figured out how to talk to him about his mother yet.
Aside from that, he saw me—really saw me—and still made me feel like I was enough. But was that because we both knew this couldn’t last? Or because, maybe, it could?
That question floated up, uninvited, and ignoring all my misgivings, this time I didn’t push it away.
With Leo, I’d always felt like I was doing maintenance. Managing his moods. Managing my image. Managing whatever tension threatened to disrupt the carefully curated version of us we’d sold to everyone else.
But with Noah…
I didn’t feel like I was responsible for his emotions. I didn’t feel like I needed to smooth things over before someone got upset.
