Because, despite everything I swore I wouldn’t do when this time came, I felt the tears start to rise.
“Tomorrow,” I whispered.
Tomorrow I’ll be fine. Tomorrow I’ll fight the good fight again. On my way to being...whole.
But tonight?
I let myself mourn something that had never even had the chance to begin.
I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF
I didn’t sleep. Not really. I drifted in and out, mind spinning, body still buzzing with the phantom weight of Noah’s arms around me. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him turning to leave.
By sunrise, I gave up.
I packed in silence. Brushed my teeth with mechanical precision. Bought a coffee in the lobby that tasted like someone had just reheated the remnants of yesterday’s batch and sat nursing it in the near-empty cafeteria where they served breakfast.
I needed to be stronger than this. We’d hung out a few times, spent one fantastic night together, gone on zero official dates. We weren’t a thing, and I had no right to get so hung up on someone I’d only known for a week.
You’re going to be okay. Just hold it together. I repeated those words over and over, like a mantra, and it actually seemed to help calm me down while I sipped my coffee.
Until I climbed onto the bus, counted the seats to my row, and was faced with his seat beside mine.
Empty.
I stood there for a second too long, and then, through sheer force of will, plopped onto the seat by the window. It hit harder than I’d expected.
For one ridiculous, fleeting second, I actually contemplated getting off. Walking away. Ending my trip early. There had to be an airport nearby. A rental car counter. Something.
But then an old familiar strength, from so deep I hardly recognized it, snapped me awake.
No.
I was done being the girl who crumpled. The girl who let other people define her presence.
That was the moment Babs dropped into the seat beside me.
Not the one she’d claimed days ago, beside Mrs. Grady. No, she sat right beside me.
Of course, she did.
“Morning, Luna girl,” she murmured right as Tay took her place at the front, clipboard in hand, sunglasses perched on her head like a tiara.
“Okay, my glorious Love Bus survivors,” she said. “Today is the big one. Today we see the Grand Canyon.”
A cheer broke out. Even I felt something flicker in my chest.
I mean, it was the Grand Canyon.
“And, in part to make up for missing Mesa Verde,” she continued, “I, your amazing and wonderful bucket list guide, have pulled a few strings. We’re staying at the El Tovar Hotel. Right. On. The. Rim.”
A smattering of applause. Babs let out a long, dramatic, “Oooooh.”
“It’s historic. It’s gorgeous. And when you see it, you’ll all insist on adding me to your will. Because not just anyone can get these rooms. But hey, my people are worth it.”
She flipped a page on her clipboard.
“Once we arrive, we’re scheduled for an all-day mule ride—yes, mules, not horses—along the rim. The Bright Angel Trail. Not all the way down, so don’t panic, but enough to see some views you’ll want to be sure to post. Bring water. And maybe pop a few aspirin. Your butts will thank you tomorrow.”
