Without too much encouragement, Tay kind of just… vented. She was a native of Colorado but had traveled around the world. and I learned she’d initially taken this job thinking she’d only do it for two years. She’d thought she could save up, eventually open a wine bar that would double as a bookstore in the mountains somewhere.
Tay took a long swallow of her wine. “It seemed glamorous at first. And it was. The idea of it anyway…but now?” She gestured around the room. “Feels like I’m just skimming the surface.”
“On the trips?”
“Sure. But also… All of it. The world. Life.” Before she could explain, my food arrived, and she huffed out a little a laugh.
“God, I’m sorry. I don’t usually go on like this. Ignore me. I think when that transmission overheated, I blew a gasket too.”
“Don’t apologize,” I said. “I don’t know how you do it.”
And really, I could understand a fair amount of what she was describing. Skimming the surface of life… Maybe that was part of the problem I was dealing with. And that sort of feeling, it didn’t just go away. It built up beneath the surface, increasing the pressure slowly but surely until…
Boom.
Gasket blown.
Or lobster (and fiancé) dumped, in my case. So, yeah, I could empathize with that too.
But I also sensed something lonely in Tay. Maybe she was just careful about keeping that stuff hidden away while she was working, but I never saw her on her phone, checking social media or answering texts or phone calls from anyone other than the bus tour company. Nothing from friends or family. Just a careful distance.
And in seeing that, I recognized it in myself. I was suddenly aware of just how much I had missed the friends I’d made at the restaurant, being part of something bigger than myself.
How much time had passed since I’d had a normal conversation with another woman who wasn’t thirty years older than me? Or my sister? Since I’d gone out for lunch, or drinks, chatting and giggling about nothing in particular?
The question brought me up short. Because I hadn’t been doing those things for months.
I bit into my slider while Tay just studied me for a moment. “But that’s enough about me. What’s your deal, Luna Faraday? You sure as hell aren’t the average Bucket List participant.”
“My mom broke her hip. She’d already paid for the trip so…here I am.”
Tay’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a chef, right?”
It was a simple question. Not a simple answer.
But since we were sharing confidences, it was only fair.
So, this time, I was the one venting. I explained how I’d been engaged. How Leo and I had not only lived together, but worked together, right up until the end.
“It’s—I woke up one day and my entire life imploded.”
I paused, taking another sip of my wine to give me some time to think. Because it was true, what I was saying, but at some point on this trip I’d stopped counting the days that had gone by since The Incident. I hadn’t watched the video since I’d shown it to Noah, after watching it every day—sometimes multiple times a day—before I’d gotten on that plane to Denver.
Maybe I felt a little bit of distance from the whole thing now, but the whole disaster was still waiting for me back at home. I’d simply been avoiding thinking about it recently, which I’d totally needed the time to do, but I couldn’t avoid it forever. It was my life.
“I didn’t just lose my fiancé,” I said. “I lost my career. My friends. Eventually, I’m gonna have to find a new home.
Tay just looked at me. And then, “Well. Shit.”
I huffed a laugh, shocked out of my melancholy thoughts. “That’s one way to sum it up, yeah.”
“Okay, I’m not gonna lie—that really sucks. Sounds like your ex sucks, and your so-called friends? Also suck. Which is…unfortunate.” Tay stabbed the olive at the bottom of her glass and popped it into her mouth. “But—and hear me out—did the world end when you dumped him?” She raised her brows, daring me to argue. “Didn’t think so.” She set her drink down and held up a hand, ticking off each point with her fingers. “One: People will disappoint you. Two: A career is just a shiny word for a job. And three: Home? It’s everywhere and nowhere.”
“That’s…encouraging?”
“It’s realistic. But that’s why…” She pinned me with her stare. “You need to enjoy this little holiday fling the universe is giving you.”
Wait. What now?
