Had she deliberately blinded herself to Arthur’s failings? The question was an awful one, and it made her feel disloyal and guilty.
Was she allowed to be angry with her dead husband? How could he have been so irresponsible that he would forget to inform the proper office that he had a wife? He’d promised her he would do it first thing. He’d promised her she’d not have to worry over finances.
He’d promised he would fix the damn porch. And the trim! And the roof!
But this.
This oversight was unconscionable.
Even dead, he was breaking promises he’d made to her.
Her eyes stung, and she blinked back the tears that welled so quickly and easily these days, frustrated.
She hated that she wanted to yell at him, that he couldn’t answer to her or defend himself. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair! What would she have done if Luke had never come?
She would have sat around waiting until she had no money for food or to pay Ester. Would she have been forced to go begging to his family? Or to grovel to her own, pleading for forgiveness? Or, even worse, what would have happened to her if neither of their families was willing to take pity on her?
The thought frightened her. Essentially, she would have been helpless, and Arthur must have known that this was a possibility; he’d joined the army, not gone on holiday. But he’d left her with no funds and few resources, all because he was—what? Too forgetful, too careless to file the paperwork?
But Lukehadarrived, and he’d made sure to take care of the things that she couldn’t while she’d been recovering from the shock of her husband’s death.
Naomi brushed away some stray hairs that had escaped the knot she’d tied at the back of her head earlier, met her own reflected gaze, and pondered Luke’s second admission.
He wanted to court me.
She had been attracted to the very young major, and she certainly hadn’t been the only lady. Naomi remembered experiencing an almost giddy feeling when she’d danced with him.
It had been a waltz.
And later that week, she’d been flattered when he’d offered to row her around the small pond behind Lady Chamberlayne’s elegant mansion.
Luke wanted to court me.
She’d had no idea. So many fresh debutantes had vied for his attentions. Ladies younger than her—prettier than her.
What if she had known?
Should she tell him that Arthur hadn’t asked to court her until the morningafterthe garden party? Her eye twitched. With each passing day, Arthur’s failings were becoming more apparent.
Jolted from her disloyal thoughts by the sound of Luke bringing the cart around to the front of the house, Naomi pinched her lips together.
She didn’t want to think about last spring anymore. She’d made her choices, and she would live with them. She snatched up her reticule and bolted down the stairwell.
Attentive as usual, Luke assisted her off the porch and then onto the bench of the cart.
Along with his hat, he’d donned his jacket again, not the one that was part of his uniform, but a simple black one that he’d worn more recently while working on the repairs.
As they drew away from the house, he seemed tense beside her, staring straight ahead.
“I would have said yes.” She wasn’t sure why she blurted her thoughts out like that, but he’d been nothing but honest with her, and it felt only right to reciprocate in some way.
His glance was questioning.
“I would have allowed you to court me.” Of course she would have.
“But Arthur had already?—”
“He didn’t ask me until the dayafterthe garden party. He lied to you.” She hated that word:lied.Because it had her wondering if he’d lied about other things. Had he broken other promises as well? “I’m so damn mad at him, Luke.”
