Even if, in the aftermath of Mr. Beckworth’s rejection, it had all gone down tasting like sawdust.
Amelia set down her knife and fork and stared over at Mr. Beckworth’s barely touched place setting. At the empty chair, still askew after his hasty departure.
He’d said this was only temporary. “In a matter of weeks, you’re going to be back with your parents, dancing at balls and taking tea with other ladies like yourself…”
It felt impossible after all she’d experienced, with how different she saw her life now.
But that was how this was supposed to go, wasn’t it? Playing the part of a proper lady was what her family wanted. Mr. Beckworth had planned to send her back from the beginning.
It was the happy ending she should wish for, with her returned to her mother and father, all of them safe and sound. And Northwoods would be there, waiting in the wings, possibly the only titled man willing to marry her after she’d been jilted by Lord Winterhope.
Not to mention all of this…
By the time she returned to her chamber, her belly was full, her head muddled, and her heart… empty.
Amelia quietly closed the door behind her and then drifted across to where two chairs were placed facing one another. One where she’d worked on Mr. Toad most of the afternoon and the other…
Where she’d quite possibly experienced the most exciting few minutes of her entire life.
But it hadn’t only been exciting. There had been pleasure, of course, but something else…
Keeping her gaze fixed on that spot, Amelia dropped into the other seat.
She had kept her eyes closed for most of it, overwhelmed by the heat of his mouth, the scraping of his beard, and an ache between her legs that had become more persistent with every stroke of his hands…
He’d skated those hands around her back, over her shoulders, down her arms.
He’d cradled her breasts. And those hands…
She blinked.
They had been shaking.
Absent his willingness to provide her with any real answers tonight, Amelia had no choice but to untangle the meaning of his shaking hands by herself.
People’s hands did not shake unless they were unusually affected by something. Especially someone like Mr. Beckworth. In fact, the only other time he’d seemed out of control was when he’d cut her out of her stays.
Even then, however, his hands had been steady, they must have been. Only afterwards, he’d sounded shaken.
In an altogether different way then he’d been today.
Amelia sighed and, not for the first time, wished Clementine was here to help her understand Mr. Beckworth, not to mention her emotions where he was concerned.
Were these the sorts of feelings Clementine had had for Lord Winterhope? If so, Amelia could almost understand why her cousin had claimed him for herself…
Amelia imagined some other lady staking a similar claim on Mr. Beckworth, and immediately, the food she’d consumed rolled alarmingly in her belly.
He’d said there wasn’t someone else. Hadn’t he?
Even the thought was enough to almost make her ill, and that in itself was more than a little unsettling.
So why had she stopped his hand from trailing all the way up her skirts?
He said she’d stopped because she’d come to her senses, but, in fact, just the opposite had been true.
Shehadn’tcome to her senses; she’d lost them completely. She’d only stopped so she could catch her breath. She’d wanted to be sure.
“You stop when you want to stop. I stop when I want to stop. No exceptions. No expectations.”And then he had added,“No crying.”
