She waited until she knew he’d taken his seat before looking up. His eyes met hers, as unreadable as ever. Could he feel this too? This crackling in the air?
“My apologies,” he said. “For making you wait.”
Civility. It seemed he’d decided on civility.
The irony wasn’t wasted on her.
“I haven’t been waiting long.” Amelia kept her voice cool and level, grateful now for all of her rigid training. She forced a polite smile and refused to allow herself to dwell on his mouth.
He cleared his throat.
Amelia dropped her gaze.
And then the doors pushed open, and the aroma of a savory meal drifted in along with the three servants carrying it.Thank the heavens. Amelia nearly mumbled her feelings out loud. For a few minutes anyhow, she had somewhere else to look, and she wasn’t the sole recipient of all that intensity in his eyes.
The servants set out the platters efficiently, however, and disappeared all too quickly.
Leaving the two of them alone, the air so thick she could slice it with a piece of her cutlery.
“There won’t be a repeat of what occurred in your chamber earlier.” He spoke so matter-of-factly, he might as well have been asking her to hand over the salt. “It was a mistake.”
“Why?” Amelia asked without thinking. But she wouldn’t take it back. She knew all the reasons she shouldn’t have kissed him like that, but what were his reasons?
As far as she knew, he wasn’t the one with a reputation to protect. Was there another woman somewhere? Someone that he loved?
The second that possibility crossed her mind, a cold, ugly sensation unfurled inside.
Of course, he didn’t reply right away. In his usual way, he carefully considered his answer before speaking.
Or perhaps he simply enjoyed watching her squirm. With this frustrating man, anything was possible.
“This is only temporary,” he finally said. “Look at me, Amelia.”
She obeyed his request immediately and was surprised to see something soft in those black eyes of his. In that moment, all she could think about was that kiss and all the sensations she hadn’t known she’d been craving.
“I followed all of your rules,” she said. Even to her, it sounded childish.
His mouth softened as well, however, one corner jerking in a not-quite smile.
But it flattened just as quickly. “I shouldn’t have asked you to.”
“Why?” she asked again. All her life, she’d been kept in the dark. At least here, in this other world, she wanted to know all the reasons. And if she had a choice, she wanted to make it for herself.
Again, he waited nearly a full minute before responding.
“This isn’t real.” He leaned forward. Surely, Mr. Leopold Beckworth, king of everything outside of London, wasn’t imploring her? “In a matter of weeks, you’re going to be back with your parents, dancing at balls and taking tea with other ladies like yourself.”
Amelia shook her head. “I’m ruined?—”
“You don’t know that.” He blinked. In the candlelight, his lashes looked inky and thick. “You know how I feel about all the trappings you grew up in—about society, the aristocracy, theton. But that is your life. It is your future.”
His words should have reassured her. Instead, they felt like arrows piercing her one by one.
She… She didn’twant— “I am not unhappy here.”
“You only think you aren’t.” He turned his attention to the food, spooning stew and potatoes onto his plate. When she didn’t move, he reached across the table and spooned some of both onto hers.
Aside from the night she’d spent trapped in her corset, this, right now, was possibly the worst she’d felt since she’d been snatched from her parents’ carriage.
