And yet… she had pressed her back against him while they stared out the window.
Her eyes had pleaded for reassurance from across the table.
She might well still be in shock from having been so violently taken from her father’s carriage. For Leopold to act on what she imagined to be romantic attraction would be foolish and criminal. She was so frightened and lost that something deep inside had been attempting to shield her from what he was, idolizing a mere fantasy in order to protect her from the truth of the matter.
She couldn’t know what she wanted, because she’d never been given any choice. Perhaps, in the future, when the situation was no longer so fraught...
He shook his head and backed away from the cliff. He hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in nearly a week.
Perhaps he was the one being delusional.
A TASTE OF FREEDOM
Amelia woke very early the next morning, surprisingly refreshed despite a night of very improper dreams.
Mr. Beckworth had been in them. They’d taken place in the hallway upstairs, but he’d actually kissed her this time, and then more.
She rubbed her eyes with shaking hands.
At home, she would have remained in bed. She’d have waited for her maid to bring her tea. After a few sips, she would have stood and clasped the bedpost, sucking in her breath until her stays were knotted to Miss Henrietta’s satisfaction, and she would not have left the room until she was perfectly presentable, every part of her arranged in accordance with the standards of her position.
But she wasn’t at home.
Amelia shot up and, feeling an exciting surge of independence, stripped out of the nightrail. After brushing a damp linen over her yellow gown, doing her best to emulate Sally’s technique, Amelia then donned it herself, and even braided her own hair.
She did not pin it up, as had been required since she’d passed the age of ten, but allowed it to hang down her back, tied with a piece of green yarn Bessie had brought up for her embroidery.
Outside, the sun had just begun cresting over the horizon, casting a pink light everywhere. And since Mr. Beckworth insisted she wasn’t going to be locked up in a tower, she presumed she could explore on her own.
An opportunity she wasn’t about to miss.
Still, she stepped quietly through the corridor and down the stairs, hoping no one would wake up. Hoping she wouldn’t be stopped.
Simply enjoying the novelty of being… alone.
She didn’t think she could “escape”, not really, and she wasn’t trying to, but she rarely, if ever, had been allowed to explore a new place like this. And the grounds surrounding Smuggler’s Manor all but begged to be explored.
Particularly the cliffs.
Stepping outside, she stood with the world at her feet, the morning air crisp and inviting. Listening to the sounds of the distant crashing waves, and a few seagulls, she felt a wonder at the vastness of the world. How could England be the center of the world when there was so much she could never see?
Unexpectedly, London and Thetonseemed rather insignificant.
Amelia took a moment to look all around her.
Nobody leapt out to berate her like she half-expected. Lightning did not come from the heavens to strike her down.
It was difficult to believe that she could behave and dress so casually without consequence, but everything was quiet and peaceful. A lush green field stretched out before her, beckoning, and suddenly her heart didn’t feel so tight in her chest anymore. The muscles in her limbs loosened, and a sense of lightness stole through her, lending wings to her feet.
She didn’t walk, no, she ran, slowly at first, and then faster, spurred by the wind on her face. And she didn’t stop until she arrived at the cliff’s edge, her chest heaving as she caught her breath.
Staring out over the vast expanse of churning water, old memories surfaced.
She’d been six and ten the first time she’d seen the sea. While her parents had attended a whirlwind of festivities, Amelia had been left in their rented cottage with Miss Merry—a woman who hadn’t lasted more than half a year as her governess.
Amelia’s parents had expected Miss Merry to ignore the excitement of being in a new place and teach her charge the usual agreed upon lessons. But Miss Merry had been of a different mind. Ignoring her employer’s instructions, she’d taken those lessons—and Amelia—to the beach.
They’d collected rocks and seashells, and Amelia had learned the names of birds, fish, and all the flowers and shrubs growing along the shore. But most importantly, Amelia had had fun.
