Better. That was better.
After finding a maid in the corridor and requesting tea and bread brought up, he cleaned the rest of himself up and then fumbled into a change of clothes, cursing himself over and over. He cursed the whisky too, for good measure.
Driven by his desire to settle matters with Nia, he forced himself to eat most of the bread and down at least one full cup of tea. Then, after what felt like hours, he threw his belongings into his valise and made his way downstairs.
Standish might be waiting for him in the taproom. He’d mock Jasper, of course, for having delayed their journey. But his old friend would understand. Jasper hadn’t hidden his mood the night before, and no doubt, Standish already suspected that Jasper had feelings for Nia.
But just as he’d decided that he’d take her for a walk where they could speak privately, he turned the corner and found the taproom empty.
“The earl and his party left at dawn, my lord.” The innkeeper addressed Jasper before he could ask about their whereabouts.
“Lord Standish? And the two ladies with him?” Surely, the innkeeper must be wrong.
“That’s the only earl that’s stayed here for months, my lord.” But then the man reached behind him. “He left a message for you.”
The innkeeper tossed a folded missive onto the counter, his name written in a very feminine style of handwriting. He recognized it from the agreement she’d written up.
Nia had left without him?
He shook his head, regretting it immediately when a sharp pain ricocheted around his skull.
She hadn’t fallen in love with him. She’d wanted her freedom more than she’d wanted him. It wasn’t time that she needed, but distance.
From him.
“My thanks.” Jasper thrust the paper inside his jacket.
He couldn’t read it now. He could already imagine her apology. Dear Jasper, I couldn’t wait to start my new life without you. Best wishes, Lady Gardenia Hathaway.
No, he wasn’t prepared to read these words just yet. Hell, he was barely able to keep himself upright this morning.
Outside, he found Malum’s coachman brushing down the horses.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Jasper forced the words out.
“Will you be riding outside or in the coach this morning?” The coachman looked far too cheerful for the morning. Besides that, the sun was too bright and the air was too fresh.
Jasper couldn’t sit inside a coach. Especially not the same one he’d shared with Nia all last week.
“Outside.” After handing his valise off for one of the outriders to load into the coach, Jasper walked into the stable, where he then located the mount he’d acquired the day before, ready to ride. And as he lifted himself into the saddle, he marveled that he had the strength to do so.
Because he felt heavy.
Defeated.
Angry.
And amongst all the rage of his feelings, images of Nia forced themselves into his thoughts. Of her laughing at the magician at the carnival—of her standing on the opposite side of that raging stream.
Of her eyes closed, her head thrown back in ecstasy while he’d been sheathed inside her body.
It was too much and yet it would never be enough.
What kind of life did she think she’d find as a spinster? She’d not find sensual pleasure, that was for sure. Even if she did, it wouldn’t come close to being as pleasurable as what the two of them had experienced.
The sun rose high in the sky, and after a few hours of travel, his sour head and stomach dissipated even as the ache in Jasper’s heart increased.
“Thought we’d stop to water the horses up ahead,” Coachman Will hollered from behind. “I’ve rations in the carriage if you’d like a bite to eat.”
