“You are happy about it, aren’t you?”
But before Nia could answer, a knock interrupted them, and when Goldie opened the door, Nia froze.
Because, as usual, her heart jumped at the sight of him. He looked, of course, impossibly handsome, with his hair disheveled and his cravat slightly crooked, but every inch the honorable nobleman. A nearly silent cry escaped from her throat. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he’d come to say.
“I’d like a word with Lady Gardenia.” Jasper’s tone sounded so very formal. So very familiar and dear. She couldn’t force him into doing something he never wanted!
Lord Standish, who had followed him in, reached for Goldie. “I’ve arranged a chamber for the two of us, Sunshine. I trust we can leave these two alone to discuss the circumstances.”
Goldie turned to Nia, and only after Nia nodded did she take her husband’s hand.
“Thank you,” Nia said.
“I’m here for you.” Goldie’s eyes held concern. “If you need anything.”
“Of course. But I’ll be fine.”
After the door closed, she turned to Jasper with a wince. “I still don’t understand all of it,” she said.
“You were a pawn.” Jasper didn’t pretend otherwise, and she appreciated that.
“They lost their pawn,” she said.
“Yes.”
But that wasn’t what Jasper had come to discuss.
The familiarity and shared intimacy they’d known less than one hour before had been shattered. How was that possible? How had this happened?
“You didn’t want to marry,” Jasper began. “Otherwise, the two of us might never have met.”
“No,” she agreed. She’d been desperate not to marry. “And you are known as the Piccadilly Player. You didn’t want to marry either.”
He nodded. “What I want, however, does not signify.” He tugged on his cravat, making it even more crooked, and Nia’s gaze fell to his neck where she’d kissed him earlier. “You’ve never been allowed to have a say in such matters—matters pertaining to your future. And now, you actually have a choice.”
What he wanted did not signify…? Which meant that…
He didn’t want to marry…
“I have a choice…” Those words had seemed so important before. All her life, her parents had made every significant decision on her behalf, never asking what she wanted. But over the last few days, even though she had felt as if she still had no real options at the time, she realized that... she had chosen.
She had chosen Jasper.
“You will never be more of a free woman than you are as a widow,” Jasper said. “I know it’s the last thing you ever wanted, but this turn of events changes everything. You’re your own person. Your father has no claim on you. And you are no longer alone.”
Because Goldie was here.
“I didn’t feel alone when I was with you.” Her voice nearly broke at the admission. He’d been the only person willing to help her. And she’d turned to him. She’d mistaken his honor for affection. She stared up at him. Say you want me, she pleaded silently.
“You’ll never be alone as long as I’m alive.” His gaze locked with hers, and for a moment, she lost herself in his eyes.
Just say it, her heart begged. Say you want to marry me. Not that you’re willing, but that you want it.
Otherwise, it would be dishonorable of her to force him to go through with it.
She’d given him her body, but that didn’t mean she had a claim to his future. Because he’d given her his as well. They’d come together out of mutual desire.
She could tell him he didn’t have to marry her, but he would do so anyhow. Out of honor. Out of duty.
