Iris held on to the bedpost as Mary pulled the strings on her stays. Once they were as tight as they would go, Mary tied them in place. After that, it went much smoother finishing her morning routine. “You’re lovely,” Mary said. “One day a fine gentleman will steal your heart and you’ll start down the path your life is meant to take.”
“And if I never marry?” She lifted a brow. “Can I not find happiness without a man?”
“Perhaps,” Mary conceded. “If we lived in a different time or place, such a thing would be possible. Our lives are tied to the dictates of men.”
“And how sad is that...” Iris couldn’t argue with her maid’s assertion. She had to first live under her father’s thumb, and after that, her husband’s. Because she was female, she had no actual choices. Some were given to her under the guise of giving her options, but they weren’t anything real. If she was lucky enough, she’d marry a man that trusted her enough to make her own decisions. That was something quite rare, though. Violet had a good marriage, and so did Francesca, but she couldn’t help wondering how much freedom their husbands allowed them.
“I suppose it is time for me to go down to breakfast,” Iris said. Her appetite was dwindling now that she started to think about the future. “Thank you, Mary.”
“Enjoy your day, Lady Iris,” she said. “Ring for me if you need anything. I’ll see to straightening your bedchamber now.”
Iris nodded and then left the room. She made her way down the stairs and turned down the hallway that would lead to the breakfast room. Part of her hoped Daniel would be there, and the other part of her hoped he was still sleeping or otherwise occupied. Her heart was so perverse. It both wanted to see him and not see him at the same time.
His cruel words had left her with a shattered heart that had been scattered in the snow like broken shards of glass. Too fine and sharp to pick up and put back together. Now he acted as if he wanted her. Like breathing without her was too difficult. As if she alone could prevent him from gasping his last breath. It was too much. The emotions inside of her had to pick a side. She either wanted him, or she didn’t. Otherwise, she wouldn’t survive with what was left of her broken heart by the end of this house party.
She reached the door to the breakfast room and froze. Daniel stood outside of the room, about to open up the door. He glanced up at her and just stared. He seemed as unable to move as her. What were they going to do now?
“Lady Iris,”Daniel said in greeting. “I trust you’re well this morning.”
She kept staring at him as if he were a bug she wanted to crush under her boot. Daniel couldn’t blame her. He should not have kissed her in the library. He had lost all sense and given in to the need crawling through him. Somehow, he would have to make things right with her, but he did not know how to even begin doing that.
“I’m perfectly all right,” she said in a prim tone. “Are you going to open the door?” She gestured toward where his hand was curved around the handle.
He glanced down and frowned. “Yes,” he said. “Are you?”
“If you’ll allow me to enter.” Her tone was filled with exasperation.
Daniel sighed. She would not make this easy, and he didn’t blame her. He had been a right arse the previous night. The ton called him a scoundrel, and he had earned that reputation in his misspent youth, but he hadn’t been that wayward man for a couple of years now. He still had lovers, but he was far more discriminate in his choices. What he had never done was accost an innocent lady with unwanted attention. He had never felt more terrible than he did in this moment. He turned the handle and opened the door. “After you,” he told her.
She didn’t meet his gaze as she slid past him and went inside. They were not alone in the room. He wasn’t certain if he was happy about that or not. He should apologize to her, but he also didn’t want to call any attention to their time alone in the library. Daniel would not ruin her reputation because he had kissed her without her permission. Lady Winchester sat next to the Duchess of Lindsey. They were family and deep in conversation about the rest of their relatives expected to arrive.
“Iris,” the duchess said in greeting. “How are you feeling today?”
“Much better,” she answered.
Daniel frowned. She hadn’t been feeling well? That was another thing he had to add to his long list of transgressions. Lady Iris went to the buffet set up on one side of the room and filled it with eggs, kippers, and ham. After she had her plate filled, she sat down at the table. A servant brought her a cup of tea, silverware, and a plate with toast. “Will you require anything else, my lady?” the servant inquired.
“No,” she said, then smiled at him. “This is fine, thank you.”
She was so polite. Daniel clenched his jaw. She wouldn’t be that friendly with him. He hated that he hurt her and he wished he could turn back time and change it. There was so much wasted time and sleepless nights over the past year. He had been thinking a lot about what he wanted in his life. All his younger declarations of never marrying or falling in love... Total rubbish.
He didn’t want to look back in a couple decades and realize that he let the best thing that he’d ever had slip through his fingers. He wanted her, and damn it, he would find a way to win her. She had been interested in him before. Somehow, he would have to reach that part of her heart again. He didn’t want to waste another day. If he had to choose between her and living with his demons, there was no contest. She won every time.
Daniel filled his plate and then sat at the table across from her. He wanted to sit next to her, but it wasn’t time for that much closeness. He would have to charm her and she didn’t seem inclined to even notice him. “Your Grace,” he greeted the duchess. “Lady Winchester.” Daniel nodded at them. “How are you this morning?” He didn’t glance at Lady Iris, but he could almost feel her glare.
“Please don’t be formal with me,” the duchess said. “You’re one of Matthew’s closest friends. Call me Francesca.”
“I’m not sure that is wise,” he drawled. “Your husband is a jealous man. I like my head where it is.”
The duchess laughed. “You don’t have any plans on seducing me, do you?”
“Not today,” he said in a light tone. “Ask me how I feel tomorrow.” Daniel winked.
“Why not today,” Lady Iris said. “Are you feeling indisposed for some reason?”
He turned toward her. Fury filled her gaze. She didn’t like him flirting with the duchess. That was interesting... “I am not feeling my best,” he confirmed. “I had a restless night.”
“Nightmares?” She lifted a brow. “I must admit you don’t look well.” Lady Iris tilted her head to the side. “Did you drink too much?”
