“They’re playing billiards, I believe,” Violet said. “And probably complaining about something.”
“My brother is probably doing that the most.” Lady Calliope picked up her tea. “But I have noticed they’re all doing it a lot. Why?”
“Because they’re men,” Francesca said. “Not one of them planned on marriage, but here we all are.” She frowned. “Well, three of us anyway.”
“And we all know they’re happily married,” Violet began. “Even if it didn’t start that way. I think this is all masculine pride. As if admitting how happy they are is somehow wrong.” She shrugged. “I gave up trying to decipher their motivation.”
Francesca handed Adeline a cup of tea. “It’s best not to try,” she agreed. “Let them have their bonding and brandy.”
Iris sat back quietly and listened to them. Was this what marriage was like? They all seemed happy, and their talk didn’t distract from that. They were all right with their husbands’ behavior, as if they had some secret they couldn’t share with the rest, or perhaps they didn’t need to share it. Because it was understood between them all. The married ladies could just look at each other and some silent communication passed between them.
It didn’t sit well with her. She felt as if suddenly she didn’t belong anymore. These women were her closest friends, and she had always been able to count on them. Now, though, she felt incredibly alone. As if she lost something she might never have again. She set down her tea and stood. Her stomach roiled, and she had to leave. “Please excuse me,” she forced the words out. “I don’t feel well. I’m going to my chamber to rest.”
She didn’t give them time to respond. Iris rushed out of the room and went directly to her bedchamber. Once there, hot tears fell down her cheeks. Pain filled her, but nothing would ease it. She laid down on her bed and remained there, crying for a long time. Then she sat up, washed her face, and set her feelings aside. There wasn’t time for tears anymore. It was time to let her anger go and be a better person, or at least a stronger one.
Daniel wantedto be by himself, but his friends would never allow it. They all knew him too well. That was why they had all gathered in the game room for Billiards, and cards. Merrifield avoided cards after he lost a bet a little over a year ago. Even if it had led him to his wife. He claimed he didn’t want to chance another moment of bad luck. So he was playing billiards with Goodland.
“Where’s the brandy?” the Earl of Winchester said as he entered the room. “It’s bloody cold outside. I hate winter.”
“Who doesn’t?” Goodland asked. “The decanter is over here.” He gestured to the bar behind him.
Winchester wandered over to the brandy and poured himself a snifter, then downed the contents. “That’s a nice burn,” he said, then poured more. “Why is no one else playing?” He nodded toward the billiard table.
“Goodland and Merrifield are being selfish and not allowing us near the table,” Lindsey drawled. “Want to play some Faro or Whist? One of you would have to give up billiards to play that though.”
“I would not play Faro,” Merrifield supplied. “Especially with Hampstead.”
“You’re only saying that because you lost once,” Daniel said, then laughed, but he didn’t feel particularly jovial. “Perhaps Winchester has more skill than you.”
Daniel didn’t want to play cards. It didn’t matter what game they chose, but he would. They expected him to. The loneliness in his soul was drowning him from the inside out. For that reason alone, they wouldn’t let him be. They knew. This was the time of year he grieved the most, the hardest, for his parents.
They died during Christmastide.
It wasn’t just their death, but how they died that haunted him. He could never shake those images from his head, and part of him didn’t want to. It was a stark reminder of why he was alone and always would be alone. There was a darkness inside of him that would never leave. Daniel didn’t want to subject that darkness on another person. That was why he would remain unmarried.
“We’re not done with this game,” Merrifield said. “You’ll have to go without a fourth for Whist.”
“Faro it is,” Winchester replied. “Come over here and sit.” He gestured toward Daniel and Lindsey. “But no betting. My wife might strangle me if I lose and have to do something foolish.”
Lindsey chuckled. “As your wife is related to mine,” he began. The two women were cousins. “I suspect she would also be so inclined.”
Daniel sighed. “The two of you are not much fun to play cards with anymore.” He grinned. “It is probably wise of you not to make a wager. Especially since I tend to win.”
His heart wasn’t in the game. Still, he played with skill and his luck held. In this, he had never been required to think too much. Card games came naturally to him, and he’d always been fortunate. If only the rest of his life were like that. It would have made everything much easier. Since he couldn’t change any of that, he shoved those thoughts away. “I win again.”
“You have the devil’s own luck,” Winchester said.
Merrifield snorted. “Which is why wagering against him is always a bad idea.”
“Too bad you didn’t listen to those instincts a year ago,” Goodland goaded him. “Much like this billiard game.” He smirked. “You lost here too.”
This time Daniel did laugh. The expression on Merrifield’s face when he realized he had lost was comical. “Games are not for you. Please tell me you didn’t make a wager.”
Slowly, Merrifield set down his stick, then shook his head. “I didn’t. Thankfully,” he said, then sighed. “I learned that lesson the hard way. Though it ended up being the best thing that happened to me.”
Daniel envied his friends. Three of them had miraculously found the love of their lives. Goodland would unlikely marry. His past had a darkness in it too. That was why he had warned Calliope to stay away from him. His baby sister had a kind heart, and she didn’t need Goodland to break it. Much like Daniel had broken Lady Iris Keene’s a year ago.
He hadn’t meant to do it. That kiss... It had undone him. For a few brief moments, he had let himself become lost in it, in her. Until he remembered why beautiful innocent ladies were not for him. He had to crush his desire for her before it engulfed them both. Lady Iris might hate him now, but what she didn’t realize he had done it to save her. From him. She deserved a man much better than him, and one day he would have to see her with that better man. When that happened, it would take every ounce of his strength to keep his distance. Because if there was one woman that tempted him, it was Lady Iris Keene.
