Arianna gasped. “What woman?”
“You didn’t know?” Pepper closed her eyes. “Oh, Arianna, I thought you at least knew a little about it.”
“I don’t. Pepper, you must tell me.”
“It isn’t my place. Ask him about Augusta Merritt.”
“The Duchess of Westmere?”
“Yes, ask him.”
Pepper squeezed Arianna’s hands, then rushed back into the drawing room, leaving her alone on the stairs, more confused than ever.
Arianna climbed the stairs and walked to her room as though in a haze. Everyone knew Augusta Merritt. She had perfect ivory skin that had not a single freckle or blemish; her body was slim and her laughter girlish, her eyes soft and bright. She could play the pianoforte, paint and sing and recite verses on cue. She was the perfect woman. She had had her pick of men when she came out, but she’d waited to marry an old duke once his wife had passed on. Now she was the Duchess of Westmere, and the rumors were that she took lovers. Was Derrick one of them? Did he come to her siren call? Did he still love her? Was everything she’d done in the last few days to win him all for nothing?
As she entered her bedchamber, she headed for the chair by the lit fire. Her lady’s maid, Natalie Palmer, had laid out her nightgown and was mending a torn stocking when she saw her mistress. Arianna had never been very good at addressing the young woman as Palmer, but rather called her Natalie since she felt the woman was closer to a friend than a servant.
“Miss Arianna,” she cooed and ushered her into the chair. “You are so pale. Shall I have tea brought up?”
“No, no, thank you, Natalie. I am just tired. Please help me change, then you may go to bed.”
“Of course, miss.” Natalie helped Arianna change and brushed her hair out from her tangled coiffure until the strands were glossy and fell about her shoulders in long waves once more.
Natalie left, but Arianna still felt numb, thinking of Derrick and the beautiful Augusta together. Then her thoughts turned to how that woman had also torn Derrick and Lucas apart. The entire situation made her ill at the very thought.
She was still sitting there an hour later when the latch turned on her door. She half rotated in her chair, expecting Natalie, but her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of Derrick. She’d almost forgotten he planned to come see her. He stepped inside without a word and closed the door behind him. He looked her over, and his heated gaze changed to concern.
“Arianna, what’s wrong?” He came to her chair and knelt at her feet like a knight of old, begging for a bit of silk from her gown to wear into battle. It was a silly, childish fantasy to think of him that way, yet for twelve years of her life, he had burned himself so deeply into her heart that she knew she would never erase the echoes. She knew now that she had always loved Derrick and would until she died, perhaps even beyond.
“Please, talk to me. You are frightening me.” He gently clasped her hands in his, that simple act rooting her in place. She drew in a deep, pained breath.
“Did you and Lucas fall out over Augusta Merritt?”
He almost looked away. His eyes shifted, but he stopped. Then he drew in a slow, deep breath before looking at her.
“Do you wish to hear the truth?”
She nodded, though part of her didn’t want to hear another word. His jaw clenched, and harsh lines appeared along his eyebrows and mouth. Arianna wanted to lean in and kiss away the agony she saw, but she couldn’t do that until she understood what had happened.
“We both fell under her spell. She led us to believe that each of us stood a chance, but she didn’t love either of us. She was only amusing herself by playing our jealousy off each other. But by the time we learned the truth, it was too late. We had said things that could not be unsaid, and we were too blindly stubborn to find our way back to friendship.” He cleared his throat. “It was a terrible mistake. I not only lost your brother—I lost all of you. You are my family whenever I’m in London. My home away from home. My pride and foolishness cost me that.” His thumb rubbed gentle patterns on her wrist, and it calmed her enough that her breathing began to even out.
“But you loved her?”
“I thought I did.” He met her gaze, a new light shining in his eyes as he continued. “But I do not any longer. She is a bitter memory, and I have no desire to relive the agony of being in love.”
Arianna’s heart fractured. He didn’t want to be in love again. He didn’t want to loveher. Tears gathered in her eyes, and she frantically brushed them away.
His gaze searched hers and he held her hands as though she might break if he let go. “I had such grand plans tonight, plans that make me feel like a devil now. You should go to bed and rest. I’ll leave you alone.”
He stood and started for her bedchamber door. If she didn’t stop him, didn’t try to make him see her value, to see her as someone to love, she might never get a second chance. In that moment, Arianna decided she could only truly regret something she didn’t do.
“Wait,” she called out and rose from her chair. He paused and turned back, a quiet hope in his eyes as he waited for her to say something. The air between them became charged with an invisible energy that pulled them back toward each other.
“I... haven’t told you about my latest book...,” she began uncertainly, her heart jumping back into a wild rhythm as she desperately tried to think of what to say.
“Oh?”
Lord, she was enthralled with the sight of him in her bedchamber. Tall and masculine, every inch of him perfect, right down to the breeches he wore and the tousled way his hair fell over his eyes.
