“I can’t marry him, Bethany. He’s aduke—as in, superseded by only princes and kings,” Collette explained, as though Bethany had not quite digested this particular fact.
“And you are a lady.”
“But not really,” Collette argued.
“You are. And the sooner you come to accept this, the sooner you can go about living your life. From the day I met you, I felt an affinity with you for this. Because as long as you are convinced you are undeserving, others will see you that way too.”
“But my father—”
“Fathers are funny things, Collette, in how they shape the way we see ourselves. Trust me when I tell you that I allowed my father—my family—to dictate the way I saw myself for years. I felt trapped because of their expectations. It was only after I looked within myself that I met the person I was meant to be.”
Collette blinked as she tried to absorb Bethany’s words. It felt impossible to imagine seeing herself as anyone other than who she was. As hard as she tried to move her perspective, it refused to budge.
Because nothing in the world could ever make her legitimate, and if the people of theToncouldn’t forget this, how could she?
Bethany’s smile was sad. “What are you going to do?”
Collette pictured Addison standing before her in the bookstore, looking proud and yet tentative at the same time. And later, asking her questions, and listening to her opinions and sharing his. Talking with him had felt both natural and invigorating.
And then of course, there had been the kiss in the stairwell, on the curricle, and the almost kiss on Chase’s front step.
Warmth blossomed and spread from her heart to her toes and fingertips.
“I do like him,” she admitted.
Bethany’s brows rose.
“I only wish he wasn’t a duke.”
“But…?” Bethany tilted her head, patiently watching Collette struggle to find some sort of answer.
“I can’t be a duchess. My mother was my father’s mistress! People will speculate the very worst and I would be the laughingstock of Mayfair. And what would people say about him? Besides, I know nothing about duchessing, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“All legitimate concerns,” Bethany agreed, when Collette had secretly been hoping her sister-in-law would try to convince her otherwise. Aside from that, the word legitimate never failed to make Collette squirm. “And although there isn’t anything you could do about the opinions of others, I’m sure you could learn the actual duchessing part—that is if his mother is willing to help you.”
“She will hate me.” Collette sighed. Marrying him would be a nightmare. An exciting, romantic nightmare.
“She might.” Bethany truly wasn’t mincing her words tonight. “I’ve never met her and it’s possible she’d object to you for all the same reasons you are reluctant.”
That part actually did sound like a nightmare.
“But, Collette, the choice won’t be hers to make—not if he keeps his promise to Chase, which I’ve no doubt he will. And the decision will be between you and Bedwell. If you can somehow see a way to happiness with him, what have you got to lose?”
Which was, for certain, a valid question.
She’d lost her position at the school and her sisters had all gone their separate ways. The choices she was left with were hardly the ones she’d dreamed of.
Collette grimaced. “If I fail at duchessing, will you allow me to live with you as your children’s favorite aunt?” It was a silly question, really. Because she doubted duchesses who couldn’t uphold the dignity of their position could do anything other than hide away in the country.
“If I didn’t send you packing for hiding in the loo for most of the Ravensdale’s ball last spring, I doubt there’s anything I’d turn you away for. But speaking of children…” Her entire demeaner transformed to one of… pure joy. “Chase knows. He said he suspected.” Bethany grinned. “But he couldn’t stop smiling. I never thought I could be so happy—and terrified—at the same time.”
“This is wonderful!” Collette was not surprised that Chase had suspected. There was just something different about Bethany lately—a dewy, dreamy look. It was subtle, but if she’d recognized it, her brother certainly had as well. “I thought you were going to wait though. When did you tell him?”
“Just this afternoon. I thought it as good of time as any and it did manage to take his mind off of throttling a certain sister.” She smirked. “Or challenging a duke.”
The possibility of her brother and Addison meeting on a field of honor was a horrific one. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to cause trouble.”
Bethany waved a hand. “It’s not as bad as it seems. And Chase knows he’s not allowed to duel again without my permission—not after what happened last spring.”
