But he continued watching her—watching her and… waiting.
“Is that what you want?” he’d asked when she’d requested he forget her behavior—and that kiss.
“It is,” she’d said.
But it wasn’t. Violet felt trapped by his gaze—that and the powerful longings inside of her.
As a man of the world, he would forget about their little flirtation. But she would not. She would likely remember that kiss for the rest of her life. And in remembering it, she might very well find herself living in regret—constantly wondering what it would have been like.
Contemplating an affair while lying in her bed the night before, and after she’d awakened, she’d not cared at all that he was a butler or that she was a lady. In fact, she’d reasoned, the differences in their stations meant that afterward, she wouldn’t ever have to worry about seeing him in society. She wouldn’t have to worry about him gossiping with other gentlemen about her.
And if he found her as disappointing as Christopher had, she could simply leave for the country and never speak to him again.
“Any chance you might make an excuse to get out of the duchess’s garden party this afternoon?” His question broke into her thoughts. He’d spoken casually, as though her answer wasn’t all that important. He grimaced and then tugged at his cravat.
“Get out of the party…?” Was he asking her…? “Why?”
“If you meet me in the mews at two, you’ll find out.” He bowed. “Wear the moss-green muslin. It was delivered earlier this morning.”
And before she could say a word, with a wink, he disappeared.
Advice from a Married Lady
Rather than risk running into Mr. Cockfield again, and quite in need of fresh air, Violet enlisted Gwen to come along for a brisk stroll through the park.
Away from Knight Hall, she hoped to clear her head. Which, as it turned out, had been wishful thinking indeed. Because having meandered along the water’s shore for nearly half an hour, her thoughts were no more clear than when she’d left.
Violet dropped onto an empty bench with a sigh.
“Do you mind, ma’am, if I wait with the other maids?” Gwen asked.
By now, half of the ladies of Mayfair had decided to take advantage of the weather and were mingling in small clusters. They might as well be in one of London’s ballrooms.
Violet ducked her head so as not to be recognized. “Not at all.”
In fact, having the maid leave her alone might be exactly what Violet required to think clearly. So once Gwen wandered away, Violet removed a pencil and the small book in which she often made notes for herself.
Affair with Mr. Cockfield, she wrote at the top of the page before drawing a line down the center of it.
She titled the left side Pros, and the right Cons.
I am too old to be considered scandal-worthy.
After a moment’s thought, she scribbled too old for scandal on the left side.
With a grimace, she added it to the right as well.
Be serious, Violet.
Knowing she didn’t have all day, she went to work, emptying her thoughts onto that small page until she’d run out of space on which to write. Staring at it, she grimaced.
The two sides appeared far too even to have made the exercise very helpful.
Pros:
Too old for scandal
Keep Mr. Cockfield away from Posy
