“No.” She pinched her lips together and met his eyes with a hard stare. “It’s about duty. And I believe I already told you—”
“It’s not only that. It’s about doing the right thing.” And then he paused, his gaze falling to her midsection, hidden beneath the various layers of periwinkle fabric that made up her gown and covering. “What if…?”
“I’m not.” Her answer was quick and short.
Ah, so her courses must have arrived. Good Lord, was that why she’d avoided him all week? His twin sister, Cordelia, sometimes locked herself inside her chamber for the duration, but he’d not even once considered that scenario for Lady Felicity. In the past, she’d always seemed so… controlled.
But for some reason, his heart sunk a few inches. He ought not to have experienced disappointment at Felicity’s announcement, and yet—
He did.
“You’re quite certain?”
She stared everywhere but at him.
“Fairlycertain.” This answer jolted him nearly more than her first one had. Because, what the hell did ‘fairly certain’ mean under these circumstances? “You’ve had your courses?”
She jerked her hands out of his and turned to stride purposefully back in the direction from which they’d come.
“Felicity?” He caught up with her easily.
“I’m not discussing this with you.” Eyes straight ahead, she marched away from him with an almost militant purpose. “This is not something a lady discusses with a gentleman.”
This time, Mantis couldn’t contain his bark of laughter, even though, in truth, there was nothing remotely humorous in their situation.
His response, however, only served to double her determination to get away from him. “Felicity,” he didn’t know what else to say. “I need to know!”
“And I will tell you if anything pertinent occurs.”
The woman was talking in circles. “So, you have not had your courses?”
She raised her hands to cover both ears, shaking her head. “We are not discussing this.”
Mantis caught her by the shoulders this time, forcing her to a halt. She pinched her eyes closed, quite obviously wishing him away.
“I’m not going anywhere, Felicity.” He inhaled. He’d known the reason Cordelia locked herself away on a monthly schedule, but it was not something ever spoken aloud. “I’ve no wish to ignore your sensibilities.”
Her cheeks were flushed now.
“Felicity,” he willed her to meet his gaze, and when she did, the full effect of her beauty struck him. “I don’t want you to be scared. I know that, what we did, it wasn’t planned. But it happened.” She tried to look away, but he kept himself in her line of vision, leaning forward and holding her gaze.
And then she was shaking her head, looking panicked. Her eyes--eyes he’d always thought had been blue—appeared more emerald than anything else. “I don’t even know why, but I wanted it to happen. I wanted to be someone else. I thought it could stop the hurting.” She gulped.
He tucked away the notion that she would ever wish to be anyone other than the beautiful person she was and instead focused on comforting her.
“Wanting to fill that need is perfectly natural. You shouldn’t be ashamed.” He gathered her into his arms. This woman was not known for theatrics or tears. She’d held herself tall and proud all those years waiting for Westerley. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise.” If only she’d allow him to take care of this!
He inhaled, and when that mixture of lavender and citrus hit his senses, he ignored an onslaught of lust.
“I—” she sniffed. “I didn’t do it to trap you.”
He pulled away to meet her gaze. “I know that.” He’d not suspected it even once. Any other woman and he might have considered the possibility, but not with her.
She dabbed two fingers at the corner of her eye. “I’m sorry. You didn’t ask for any of this.”
He hadn’t asked. No. But he hadn’t stopped it when he had the chance either. In fact, he’d made a conscious decision to keep going.
“It’s just that… I don’t want to marry—you or anyone—not like this. You have to understand.”
