“I will take my leave but not say goodbye.” He removed a piece of paper he’d written out the night before. “This is my direction. If I cannot be reached personally, my brother will provide for any need that arises.”
She stuffed the paper into an apron pocket without reading it. Her pride. So much pride.
“Thank you again, Major. You have been most kind.”
He flicked his gaze around the property and then, turning one last time to face the widow of a man he’d once considered his best friend, bowed. “Please. I beg of you to send word if you have need of anything.”
She grimaced at that.
And at her nod, he took his leave.
Chapter Three
Naomi stood on the porch long after Major Cockfield had ridden away. Her limbs felt heavy and the slightest task, such as getting dressed, making tea, or forcing her feet to carry her back into the house, seemed to require tremendous thought and effort.
It was easier simply not to move. If she didn’t move, then she didn’t have to feel, and if she didn’t feel then she didn’t have to think. All of which made no sense at all because she couldn’t summon the energy to make her brain function properly.
Lord Major Lucas Cockfield had gone above and beyond the call of duty when he’d come to inform her about Gil… Now that he was gone, his part was over. She realized that at some point, she was going to have to face the future.
But for now, she didn’t want to think into the next minute—the next hour.
Because she faced it alone.
“He seems an honorable sort.”
Naomi glanced over her shoulder. She hadn’t realized Ester had joined her outside. When Gil had insisted she hire someone to help her, she’d initially resisted. But now…
Now.
Ester was all she had.
Naomi touched her little bump. Until the baby was born, anyhow. Which summoned an entirely different set of fears.
“Looks like rain.” She sighed.
Naomi was going to have to raise her and Arthur’s child alone. Her husband was never coming home to do it with her.
How dare he die? How dare he leave her alone?
She blinked away fresh tears that threatened. Her eyes ached already from all her weeping.
How had she ended up so alone? Even her mother wouldn’t be here to help her. And it was no one’s fault but her own.
Her father had forbidden her from associating with Arthur. He and her mother had been convinced by rumors and speculation that Arthur wasn’t an honorable gentleman.
Oh, buthe had been. He’d spoken of marriage to her even before she’d informed him of her condition. He would have met with her father if only…
She would not regret lying with him that one time before they were married. To regret that would be to regret the life growing inside of her. If not for this child, she would have nothing of him.
And how could she regret the most romantic memory of her life? The carriage ride to the country, the picnic. The compliments Arthur had showered on her, the flirtatious smiles, the secret assignations.
Arthur had been an expert at wooing her.
“Gah!” She swiped her arm at the tears streaming down her cheeks.
A gust of wind had her hugging herself as she watched a small vortex of debris blow into her garden.
“Come inside, Missus.” Ester opened the door. “You don’t want to catch a chill. It’s not good for the baby.”
