Lillian fidgeted with the bonnet string below her chin. The wise, responsible course of action was to decline cordially and forget she’d ever set foot inside 312 Chesterfield Hill.
And yet… the dilemma surrounding her future remained. The fear that she’d collapse under the pressure of her family was not without merit despite her dread of essentially handing over control of her person to a man for the rest of their lives.
She could pursue employment… Which brought her back to why she’d come here today. The least she ought to do was hear him out. If the position he had available did not appeal, she’d visit one of the employment agencies later that day.
Although… companions and governesses surrendered considerable autonomy of their lives as well.
But they could always resign, whereas wives could not.
She walked slowly across the room and then lowered herself onto the wooden chair.
“Pardon me for failing to recognize you initially. I only meant to find my sister this morning and failed to don my spectacles in my rush to do so.” He glanced around. “I’m afraid you are not much more than a blur at the moment.”
Lillian stared back into his eyes, feeling more comfortable than she had a few moments before. If this didn’t work out, perhaps the two of them could both pretend this meeting never happened.
“I do thank you, for your assistance two days ago.”
He waved one hand through the air. “I only did what any gentleman would have done.”
He would be surprised…
Wrinkles formed between his eyes. Pausing only a moment, he commandeered the only other chair in the room and placed it so that he could face her directly. Once sat, he began bouncing his foot up and down until the dog approached, sprawled near her host’s feet and then rested his chin on the man’s foot.
“I trust you made it home safely with all of your packages then?”
“I did.” Oh, but she must offer some sort of explanation. “The notice, your advertisement… It fell out of the paper before I gave it to my mother. My inclination was to throw it away, initially, but it… intrigued me.”
His blue gaze never left her face. “Very well then,” he finally offered, “I’d like to discuss the position with you—in strict confidence, of course.”
“But of course,” she agreed, sitting up straight.
He grimaced and then leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees. “After you hear me out, if you still wish to make a quick exit, I’ll not mention a word of your visit to anyone.”
Lillian paused, considering. She had wanted to leave a moment ago. The rational part of her still did. “There is a legitimate position, then?”
Again, that wince flashed across his face. For some reason, it made Lillian want to smile. Despite his unkempt clothing and hair, he was impossibly charming. And then she reconsidered. It was likely his rumpled appearance that actually enhanced his appeal.
“Possibly,” he admitted. “And, as I’m actually contemplating telling you this, I’m realizing how utterly preposterous my proposal is going to sound.”
Upon hearing his words, Lillian could no longer contain her smile. “Will you allow me to decide whether it is preposterous?” She did not know his name, or anything about him, and yet his lack of affectation had her convinced he was a genuine gentleman in all that mattered.
If he knew who she was, would he have treated her any differently? Would he have flattered and fawned over her like all the others?
“I—” He bared his teeth in an even more pronounced wince. “I am in need of an heir. Rather quickly, unfortunately.” He cleared his throat. “I haven’t a good deal of time left.”
Lillian wasn’t certain she’d heard him correctly. Her smile fell. “You are going to die?” He was a young man, likely just a few years older than her herself. And he appeared to be vigorous and healthy .
He pinned that gaze on her again, and nodded, breaking her heart more than a little.
“I… I am so sorry.” She wasn’t certain what else one should say upon hearing such devastating news. “You are not married?”
He shook his head. “I considered betrothing myself to one of the ladies of my acquaintance, but any proper girl wishing to marry will want a husband for far longer than I anticipate being around.” He flicked his gaze down to the missive she’d handed him. “I had considered the ad unseemly.”
And then he stared at her again. “I hadn’t contemplated the possibility that a lady such as yourself, a lady of refinement and intelligence, would actually respond. May I ask what has compelled you to do so?”
The question was a fair one. The nature of the ad itself was improper, to say the least.
Lillian considered her words carefully. He’d been honest in what he wanted, what he needed. He deserved the same from her.
