Chapter 14
I’m Here
“She’s a lucky young lady.”
Lillian fought drowsiness as she listened to a man’s voice. A physician?
“The ankle looks worse than it is. Have her maid apply the balm to her burns again later tonight and again in the morning. I’ll return tomorrow afternoon to check on both of you. You need rest as well, Your Grace.”
“She’s all right, though?”
“She’ll be fine.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“Of course.”
Footsteps and then the sounds of the door opening and then closing signaled that she was alone with him. So much of what had happened earlier that night was unclear.
Christian had come into the fire to save her. She remembered that much, but other things he’d said—promises he’d made—felt more like a dream amidst the nightmare of the fire.
“I love you, and I’m not leaving without you. You and I are both going to escape, and we are both going to live.”
She must have dreamed those words.
“Christian.” Her voice came out little more than a whisper. The doctor must have given her laudanum for pain, but she fought off the weighted feeling.
“I’m here.”
The sight that met her eyes made it worth the effort.
Standing beside the bed, covered in soot, he stood over her with his hair standing on end and with one lens of his spectacles cracked.
“You saved me.” Then she frowned. “Mother?”
“She’s asleep in one of our guest chambers, safe and sound and quite angry at herself for sending her daughter after a few old letters.” He smiled tenderly as he spoke the words, and as though he couldn’t help himself, his fingers caressed the side of her face.
“I thought I’d lost you.” His voice broke.
“I don’t want to lose you, either.” Her throat hurt and she was so very sleepy, but she needed to tell him. She needed him to know how she felt. When she’d lain trapped in the fire, believing certain death was her fate, her greatest regret was that she’d not be able to grow old with him. The two of them were meant to grow old together. She would believe in the future for both of them.
The sight of blood mixed in with some of the soot along his jaw broke her train of thought. “You are hurt?”
At her question, he shook his head. “It is nothing. Lillian. I’m so sorry for everything. For being such a fool.” His eyes shined even brighter than usual. “I pushed you into this marriage, but I can never regret it. I only regret that I didn’t meet you at a ball and request a waltz, or row you around a pond at a garden party. You deserve all the wooing and I regret that I never courted you properly. I regret that I haven’t yet met your sisters and your nieces and nephews. I regret I didn’t allow you a proper wedding. But I would have married you regardless. Eventually. I love you and my heart knew yours from the moment we met on the street. Fate would have brought us together. I’m certain of it.”
Although her mouth was dry and cracked, she couldn’t help but smile at his words.
“I am not sorry that you are mine now, though,” he continued with force. “I know you didn’t marry thinking to put up with me for a lifetime. You had hoped to become an independent woman, but I have decided I’m not going to believe in death. I’m going to believe in life—and in love. After all my foolishness before, this likely sounds like nonsense to you… but everything has changed inside of me… and you see, please forgive me, Lillian, but I have fallen—”
“I love you.” She forced her hand up to cover his, where he cradled her cheek. “I love you,” she said again.
“I love you.” He stared back at her, almost as though in awe.
And then both of them laughed a little. It was madness, really, how quickly such feelings had roared to life. Were they planted during that first meeting? Or during the second one when he entered the room where she waited to be interviewed, his hair askew, his eyes squinting? Or had it been later, after their wedding?
She didn’t know. She was certain, however, that she loved him more than life itself.
“You will not leave me?” She had to ask. She had to be certain. “Or send me away?”
