He could not bear the burden of loving anyone else. Already, he was drowning.
He marched toward the door and ripped it open. “I never asked for your love, Bethany. Do me a favor, won’t you? And keep it to yourself. It’s the last thing in the world I need right now.”
Another layer of guilt piled onto all his notions of inadequacy as he strode along the familiar corridor. Mindful of others sleeping in the house, he kept himself from stomping until he’d descended the stairs.
And once outside, on the darkened street, he ran.
He ran in the opposite direction of Farm Street, past Grosvenor Square and farther along, past the entrance to St. George’s. When he realized it was the same distance he and Bethany had walked after their wedding ceremony, he circled back to the park where he could lose himself amongst the less traveled dirt trails. When he finally arrived at the street again and then stopped to catch his breath, he found himself at the steps leading up to Knight Manor. The door opened before he even knocked.
Blackheart.
The running must have relieved something inside of him because he couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of this arrogant duke dressed up as Greys’ butler.
“Still at it, eh?”
“Is there some reason I wouldn’t be?” Blackheart pulled the door wide, cocking one brow. “Concerned you’ll be running through the park in the nude come the end of the Season?”
Damned Blackheart would, of course, know of their bet. Before Chase could respond, an eager maid with large eyes appeared.
“Mr. Cockfield. What should I do with—” She blinked twice and began backing away as quickly as she’d arrived. “Beg my pardon, Mr. Cockfield, sir. I didn’t realize you were with someone. I’ll find you later.”
Blackheart glanced at her and nodded and without waiting for Chase to say why he was here, gestured for him to follow. “We can speak in my office.”
It was a tiny room, not much more than a closet, and yet Black took his seat as though it was nothing less than a throne. Chase took the austere wooden chair across from him and then, placing his elbows on his knees, dropped his head into his hands.
Blackheart reclined, resting one ankle on his knee. “Running, eh?”
Acting as butler, Blackheart appeared more relaxed than Chase had ever seen him. “You don’t appear to be finding your position difficult. Perhaps I ought to go into service.”
Blackheart chuckled. “This?” He glanced around. “It’s nothing. I’d be bored to tears if I didn’t have to worry about you sorry gents.”
“Why? What have I missed?’ Because misery loved company and he’d provided more than his fair share.
Blackheart dodged the question with a dismissive wave. “Have you told her yet?” Blackheart was the only one of his friends who knew of his father’s second family. Not because Chase had disclosed the information, but simply because, one way or another, Blackheart had a way of knowing everything. Usually, it came in handy, but on some occasions, it could be annoying.
“Last night.” But that wasn’t the trouble, was it? He dropped his head into his hands again, resting his elbows on his knees. “Why are women so difficult?” He didn’t really expect an answer.
“All women, or just one in particular? I’ve never considered Lady Bethany to be a difficult person, just the opposite, rather.”
“She isn’t. Of course, she isn’t.” Chase squeezed the bridge of his nose, undeterred this time by the pain from leftover bruises. “But she is proving to be more of a… distraction than I’d anticipated.” Which was the understatement of the century.
“But not in a difficult way.” Blackheart dropped his foot and leaned forward. “Tell me. How has she been demanding? Does she require your constant attention? Does she require you to solve her problems? Or threaten a temper when she doesn’t get her way?”
“None of that.” Chase ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “It’s much worse than that… She wants to know what I’m thinking.”
Blackheart, of all people, would understand what a trial this could be.
But rather than understanding, Blackheart stared at him, expecting more.
“She wants me to share myheart,” Chase added.
“You don’t care for her?”
“Of course, I care for her. But I’ve no heart to share.”
Now he saw understanding. “Because you’ve given it to someone else?”
“God, no.”
