With her? No. He was disgusted with himself.
“I’m so sorry. It was a horrid thing to do,” Chase echoed his apology.He is sorry.
S-o-r-r-y. Five letters. He’d have had no reason whatsoever to be sorry if she’d not gone outside. Would he have regretted his behavior quite so vehemently if he’d been caught spanking Rachel Somerset rather than her?
“It was vile,” Bethany said.
Anger from the memory of his not-so-gentle handling of her pierced through some of the sympathy she was experiencing on his behalf.
“I know.” He stepped forward and dropped to his knee, taking one of her hands in his. It was a scenario she’d dreamt of but… not like this.
Never like this.
Staring down at his hair reminded her of the moment he’d retrieved her mother’s belongings the night before. Had that only been last night? The endearing moment felt like a lifetime ago.
“I am despicable,” he replied. “Depraved.”
She couldn’t help but agree, and she hated to imagine him doing the same to the lush and beautiful widow.
“Do you… do that sort of thing normally?” She withdrew her hand from his and hugged her arms in front of her. Straightening her spine, she stared down with as much disapproval as she could muster.
He tilted his head back so as to meet her gaze, and she couldn’t help but note that the red around his eyes made his irises appear an even brighter blue. Drat the man. Why did he have to be so insufferably dashing?
“Do I do what sort of…? Ah…”He grimaced as he comprehended what she was asking. “Only recently. But on my honor, Bethany, I swear to never, ever, not in a thousand years, touch you like that again. God.” He brushed a hand through his hair, causing the stray lock to stick for less than a second and then fall forward again. “If I’d had half a clue…”
And drat again! Why did his promise leave her feeling disappointed?
“Why?”
“Why?” He seemed confused.
“Why would you promise me this?”
“Because you’re a lady, that’s why. And you’re blasted Westerley’s sister.”
“But why would you do it to anyone?”
His gaze shifted to the corner of the room. “Because it… That isn’t important.” He flashed his eyes back toward her. “What does matter is that we marry.” He reached for her hand again, pinning his mesmerizing eyes on her. “And we must do so as soon as possible—today even. Legalities are already ironed out. Please, Bethany. Allow me to fix this.” He frowned. Dropping her hand, he dug into one of his pockets, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and revealed… a special license.
For a moment, the image of Lady Hawthorne’s ring flashing in the firelight had momentarily lifted her heart.
The man of all her girlhood dreams was on bended knee, begging her to marry him, special license in hand.
Ah, but the romance of it.
“That isn’t going to make anyone forget what they saw.” She swiped an impatient hand across her face when dratted tears threatened. All of this was so very wrong. The recollection of that moment he’d flipped her onto his lap sent a shaky, vulnerable feeling through her.
“Are you crying?” For the moment anyhow, he gave up all pretense of appearing the devoted suitor, rose, and stuffed the paper back into his coat. He went to step toward her but halted, almost guiltily. Was it because he was remembering that he’d touched her bottom? He said he would never do it again. No, he’dswornhe would never do it again.
What was wrong with her bottom?
Her vision clouded and, glancing away, she dabbed a finger at her eye. How could they marry with all this awkwardness? She doubted they could even be friends!
“I’m not crying,” she lied.
Chase pinched the bridge of his nose, immediately winced and dropped his hand.
“We haven’t a choice, Bethany.” He sounded more resigned than pleading now. “And I realize you’re getting the rotten part of such a marriage. I’m no prize. But I swear I’ll do everything in my power to restore your reputation. And… we’re friends, are we not? The two of us have always gotten along well enough. I hate what’s happened, but it’s not the end of the world. I’ll protect you. More than that, I’ll do everything in my power to ensure that you’re content.”
