A dull ache filled his chest as she reminded him of his own words, his own conviction.
“My father signed them. I did not.” Dishonoring his father’s promise would kill something inside of him. He rubbed his thumb along the pulse at her wrist. One week ago, she would have been correct in her assumptions. But after yesterday… Mantis was right. The living were the ones who mattered.
“You told me you would not have accepted the wager with my father if there had been an official agreement with Lord Brightly.”
Jules searched his memory of when they’d first discussed the wager. He couldn’t dispute that. It was what he’d thought at the time.
“You told me a man had nothing if he didn’t have his honor.” There was no accusation in her words, only a sad sort of acceptance.
But the truth of the matter was that he would sacrifice his honor either way. He refused to sacrifice her along with it.
“I won’t marry a man who comes to me with regrets—one who might someday hate me for doing so.”
Jules leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. “I made love to you, Charley, knowing we would marry. And because I want you in my life. Ineedyou in my life.” This was the truth. She was his choice. “I won’t let you go.”
But her eyes swam with tears now. “And I need you too, and I want you in my life.” Jules couldn’t keep from kissing her upon hearing those words. This time, she parted her lips for him. Ah, sweet god above, she tasted of whiskey.
Which reminded him. He pulled back and covered his mouth. “Forgive me.”
She smiled but managed to look sad at the same time as her hand came up to cradle his cheek and jaw. “You must tell Lord Brightly that you will honor your father’s agreement.”
“No.”
“And you must have every intention of marrying her unless you are released.”
Fear flooded him along with frustration that he’d have to fight her along with everyone else. What the devil was she saying? “Did you not just hear me? I’m going to marry you. Not Felicity. Not anyone else.” He pinched his lips together. “You have no choice but to marry me after yesterday.”
“Julian.” Something in her voice caught at him.
“There is something you aren’t telling me.”
“Do you trust me?” She tilted her head to one side.
“Of course I do but—”
She straightened her back and lifted her chin. “You have been good and trapped. And the harder you fight it, the tighter the noose will get. Trust me.”
She grasped the back of his head and pulled his lips to hers this time. Her kiss felt like more of an oath than anything romantic.
“I hate it,” she gasped when they finally came apart. “And I hate that you’ve been caught in this unwinnable game.”
“As long as I have you, I can’t lose.” And he wouldn’t lose.
“Precisely.” She placed her hands along the side of his face and touched her lips to his again, tenderly this time. When she pulled away, her eyes burned with a determined glint. “Now go and tell Brightly you will honor the contract.”
He shook his head. “Tell me what you have planned.” His temples were pounding again, and he couldn’t have felt more powerless if he was standing on the gallows with a noose around his neck.
“I can’t tell you, because if I do, then you cannot win.” She backed away from him, but he refused to release her hands.
“Charley.” He made one last attempt to extract whatever scheme she had cooked up. “What are you going to do?”
“I cannot tell you. If I do, then you cannot win,” she repeated and pulled free of him.
“I’m going to marry you, regardless.”
“Tell Brightly.” She backed toward the door and he already missed touching her. Damn, but he had it bad.
“Charley…”
