Not a day had passed that he hadn’t thought about her. Hardly a night had passed that he hadn’t dreamt of her. Dreamt of the taste of her on his tongue, dreamt of his cock buried in her warmth.
Two years.
He’d never intended to make love to her. He’d ached to, he’d fantasized about it, but he’d promised himself from the onset of their journey together that he would not. He’d renewed the promise over and over as he’d come to know her better.
Chance removed his hat and ran one hand through his hair. He’d chosen to walk back to the manor, despite the cold, and Hollis had stayed back with him.
As a storm moved in, even his great coat did little to prevent the biting ocean winds blowing over the moors from chilling his bones.
In the end, he’d broken more than one promise. The one to himself, and then the one he’d made to her.
“If she doesn’t hate me anymore, then likely she’s forgotten most of what transpired.”
Hollis let out a short laugh. “Women do not forget that sort of thing, my friend. But it’s your life. If you’re willing to remain here atPalais de le Secours, nursing your damn broken heart, well, that is up to you. But you have not been the same since your marriage and I was hoping that if you confronted your past, you might return to your former self.”
“You are returning to London soon?” Hollis had responsibilities that there. Family. Duties. Friends… a life.
“Next week.”
The two men continued walking, both caught up in their own private thoughts. The journey fromSecoursto London was not a short one. Depending upon the weather, the horses, the roads. It could take as long as two or three weeks.
He’d made it in less than one, however, on a few occasions.
Apparently, he’d suffered from one too many dreams about hisPrincessebecause his curiosity was beginning to overcome his chivalry. What if she could forgive him? What if she still loved him? He doubted it possible, but could he live with himself if he didn’t bother trying to find out?
He’d been chivalrous enough already, perhaps it was time he chase after the one thing in life he really wanted.
***
“How was it?”Adelaide looked up at chance as he entered the drawing room that had been their mother’s favorite. Although she was dressed in black from head to toe, she’d not attended the funeral. Women weren’t expected to and Chance hadn’t tried to convince her otherwise.
Adelaide had befriended Hannah, the woman who’d been his duchess for a short while, but his sister had suffered a great deal over the past few years herself. Chance did his best to help her maintain the balance she’d achieved since all of the… ugliness.
He shrugged. Death was never pretty. “It was… sad.”
Adelaide nodded.
The irony of it was that Hannah’s death was a tragedy, indeed, but not nearly so much as her life had been.
“She is at peace now. Those last few weeks were...” His sister frowned and shook her head. “She was in so much pain. I am relieved for her.” Hannah had struggled to breathe. The physician had done all that he could to make her comfortable, but her agony had been visible for all to see. “How are you?”
Chance shrugged again. He was… numb. Relieved. Yes, he, too, was relieved that his wife no longer suffered. But he was also…
“Free?” He could only ever admit this to Adelaide and possibly Hollis, both of whom knew the true nature as well as the circumstances of his marriage.
Not that he hadn’t made Hannah a part of his family, but they had never become husband and wife in truth.
“Will you go to her?”
Hell and damnation, he never should have told Adelaide about Aubrey. Bad enough that he’d shared the information with Hollis. Adelaide, however, had noticed the ring Chance wore on his right hand. When she’d asked about it, he’d been at a low point. He’d suffered too many of those over the past two years.
But would he go to her––to hisprincesse?
“At least try to explain what happened. I know you want to protect me but if Mrs. Bloomington is a woman you would fall in love with, I trust that my secret is safe with her. You have my permission to tell her… everything.”
Chance did not sit down but rather moved across the room and stared out the window. He was a widower now. Society would expect him to be in mourning… although males were often allowed liberties in this area that females usually were not. It wasn’t as though Chance cared to protect his reputation… only that of Adelaide’s.
“I don’t want to leave you alone.” Which was true. Although his sister had kept herself out of trouble ever since that one horrific night, Chance worried about her.
