They rode in silence for nearly an hour before either of them spoke again.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” He lifted a sack off the floor that she’d not noticed before. “What’ll it be,Princesse, cherry or apple?” He held out two different pastries for her inspection.
“Neither.” She’d not eaten any of what he’d had sent up the night before, and surprisingly wasn’t hungry this morning. “And would you please stop calling me that?”
“Princesse? You don’t like it?”
“I don’t like what it implies…” It implied that he might find her attractive in some way. It reminded her that she’d kissed him.
“You’d best eat it before Mr. Dog gets a hold of it.” He placed one of the pastries onto a napkin and set it into her lap. “What exactly does it imply, Princ—Aubrey?”
“Argh!” Her exasperation got the better of her as she picked up the pastry and tore a not so ladylike bite off with her teeth. She didn’t want to have this discussion. She’d agreed that they were nothing more than friends.
So why did he have to look at her as though she was the pastry, at times? Why did he have to tease her? Why had he held her in his arms yesterday morning?
Why was he even here? He could have acquired a mount at any number of stops they’d made along the way by now.
“You will not answer? You do not wish to explain, eh?” She had his full attention right now and she wasn’t certain that she wanted it.
“It implies that you… like me in a certain way—that you... want me. Perhaps it means nothing to other ladies of your acquaintance. Perhaps they realize that you are nothing more than a ridiculous flirt. But I am not like other ladies. I thought that… And then I kissed you… And now. If you are so repulsed by me. If you see me as some sort of little sister to watch out for, I’d appreciate it if you refrain from your teasing behavior for the remainder of our journey. I’ve already made enough of a cake myself. I—“
He’d turned so abruptly to face her that Mr. Dog hopped off the bench and onto the floor.
“Mon dieu, you think that I see you as a little sister?” He was almost shaking as he ground out the words. “I only wish that was the case! Repulsed by you? Do you think you were the only one affected by that kiss? It took every ounce of restraint that I have to keep myself from taking you that night. I wanted nothing more than keep on kissing you—everywhere. To taste every inch of your skin and then bury myself deep inside of you! And not merely because you aretrès belle, not because of your beauty. I want to make you mine so that I can have a part of your soul. There is a hope inside of you that I haven’t felt in years. I want to make it mine; I want to makeyoumine…”
He leaned so close to her now that she felt his breath on her lips. He wasn’t touching her and yet she felt himeverywhere.
“Then why?” She whispered.
He ran a hand through his hair and sat back a few inches. “If things were different… I cannot because… The timing. It is all wrong.”
And again, he told her absolutely nothing.
She went to drop her gaze, but he reached out to tilt her chin up, not allowing her to look at anything but him. “Do not doubt how much I want you. But I want all of you, and it wouldn’t be fair of me…” He blinked, his eyes appearing brighter than usual. “But you are myPrincesse, non? Even if we will say goodbye soon?”
She nodded, wishing he’d kiss her. Wishing he’d share more of his troubles with her. But she did not press. If he wanted to tell her his reasons than he would have.
She gave him a half smile and that seemed to satisfy him.
This time when he reached for her, pulling her into his arms, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. This was where she belonged. She didn’t understand what was holding him back, but she no longer was angry with him. Whatever it was, he had no control over it.
She covered his arm around her with her own and he moved so that their fingers entwined. He seemed to need this connection as much as she did.
Neither of them said much of anything for the next few hours. This silence wasn’t filled with tension, however, it seemed they’d released all of that in the admissions they’d made to one another earlier. This time the silence was peaceful, accepting, comforting in an odd sort of way.
Nothing more could be said really, to change anything, and yet there were no misunderstandings between them.
When the carriage lurched and then jerked to a halt, Aubrey would have fallen off the bench if Mr. Bateman hadn’t been holding her. Mr. Daniels cursing sounds carried easily to her ears and with a wince, Mr. Bateman squeezed her hand and opened the door. He assisted her onto the ground and then walked around to have a look at the wheel.
“It’s broke clean through this time,” she easily overheard Mr. Daniels complaining. “And we passed the nearest village an hour ago. I knew we should remain on the main road, but no, the widow had to see a bunch of rocks piled about…”
This road had seemed less traveled. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d passed another vehicle. Aubrey stretched and glanced around at their surroundings. She hadn’t realized that clouds had gathered and hovered low in the sky. Smoke rose from the chimney of a farmhouse that wasn’t far off and she felt encouraged to see two people approach.
“Hello!” She waved across the field.
Mr. Daniels and Mr. Bateman caught sight as well, of the farmer who was lumbering toward them with a friendly expression. “Heard the crack clear up by the house.” The man wore work clothing. His weathered face made it difficult to tell his age, which Aubrey guessed could be anywhere between forty and sixty.
A heavyset woman wearing an apron followed him at a slower pace. Aubrey guessed the couple didn’t get many visitors, situated in such an isolated location.
