“How do you do it?” he asked.
“How do I do what?” Her voice came out sounding little more than a whisper. By now she felt almost mesmerized by the flickering light from the flames.
“Still see the good in the world? After all you’ve been through…” She watched the motion in his throat as he swallowed hard. “You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met.”
“No. No.” She shook her head. “I’m afraid of everything! I can’t even walk through a taproom on my own. How am I going to succeed in London? I fear I’m going to end up alone and shunned with only Mr. Dog for company. I don’t know anyone. I don’t know all the rules, or the norms. I’m going to seem like a bungling fool once I get there––”
He squeezed her hand. “Never.” And then he reached across and gently touched her just above her breast, on her left side.
Her heart.
“You have something very special inside of you. The fact that despite all of your fears you are still making this journey… That shows your courage.”
Aubrey licked her lips. The air around them had grown heavy and she wondered if he felt it the same as she did. It was as though all the pent-up desire she’d ever had for anything, for anyone, had centered itself on this one man.
She couldn’t help but feel pulled closer to him, to part her lips…
“I promised I wouldn’t kiss you.” His gaze flicked to her mouth and then back up to her eyes. “You said that if I did then you couldn’t allow yourself to spend time alone with me—that we would have to part.”
She’d had reasons for telling him that but in that particular moment none of her concerns seemed to matter.
A large popping in the fire chose that moment to break the spell she’d fallen under.
Both of them turned back to stare into the flames. Several minutes passed and Aubrey wished she knew what he was thinking.
“Are you hungry?” His question jolted her as he pushed himself to stand. “Stay here.”
Aubrey stared at her hands after he disappeared. They were shaking as well as most of her insides. A flush had spread through her entire body and her brain was focused on only one thing.
He’d wanted to kiss her.
But perhaps the greater dilemma was that… She wanted him to.
Definitely a greater dilemma.
What would it feel like? She’d taken a husband, grown to the ancient age of five and twenty, buried said husband and yet she’d never been kissed.
Perhaps it was exactly what she needed. One kiss: one kiss from an honorable gentleman. Something to store away in her memories so that she’d know she’d not missed out on everything good that life had to offer.
The sounds of him returning sent her heart racing again. She couldn’t look at him, fearful he’d see all of these emotions on her face. At times, he’d possessed an uncanny knack for reading her thoughts.
Crouching beside her again, he set a basket between them and opened it to reveal bread, cheese, jams… a delicious assortment of all the foods she’d considered overly indulgent until she’d met this man.
“This is for your son.” He removed a bowl and flicked a glance toward Mr. Dog, now sprawled on his back, eyes open, legs spread wide and his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
She smiled that he’d refer to Mr. Dog as her ‘son.’ The prospect of ever becoming and actual mother was a melancholy one.
“Harrison wanted a son. When I failed to provide him with one, he said it was my punishment.” The words escaped her without thought. She shared her musings with Mr. Bateman far too easily.
What would her deceased husband think if he saw her now, with a strange man? What would he think if he knew she would now have a dog for her child? For some odd reason, imagining his opinion made her laugh.
Mr. Bateman didn’t comment on her unusually personal comment. He was breaking up some meat and bread and placing it into the bowl. He drew out a cannister and poured some white liquid onto the food.
“Milk. How thoughtful.”
“Hopefully it will soften the food enough for Good old Mr. Dog to get some down.”
This man was charming her again. Not by being suave or doling out compliments, but in the compassion he had for her dog.
