Unlike Flavion, she suspected Stephen would be able to guess at her circumstances if he were exposed to her habits for more than a couple of days.
What was he doing here?
She wanted to savor his presence but was forced to concentrate all her efforts on quelling the queasiness that had been all too frequent as of late. She ought to have made this visit later in the afternoon, when she normally did not suffer these spells. But she’d awakened feeling well today and thought the sickness had subsided.
Apparently, that was not the case.
She could not even bring herself to look up into Stephen’s eyes.
But she knew he was watching her.
Leading both Cecily and his horse off the road, Stephen tossed his jacket on the ground and directed her to sit. “Put your head between your knees, Cecily. And take slow, deep breaths.”
Cecily did as he said and gradually the upset receded. Stephen was a few feet away from her, unspeaking, as the minutes passed.
“What are you doing here?” Cecily finally asked. She could contain her curiosity no longer. A part of her rejoiced at his presence, but another wept at the injustice of seeing him again, knowing he could never be hers.
Was this what she had to look forward to in this life? This desire to be close to a man she could see but never have? For surely, their paths would cross many times in the future. And each time it would be as though the universe taunted her.
And although she had every faith that Flavion would not consider the dates of their relations and the timing of the child’s birth, Stephen most definitely would. What would she say to him? Would he be hurt? Relieved? Would he feel she had betrayed him?
Feeling better physically, but overwhelmed emotionally, Cecily lay back upon the grass. There were several puffy clouds today. She wished they were on a picnic. She wished he were her husband. “That cloud looks like a kitten,” she said and then felt rather silly immediately.
Stephen crouched onthe ground. At first, he thought she’d gone pale at the mere sight of him. But then he realized that when he’d glanced into her face as he’d been passing, she had looked pale and tight-lipped already.
As she lay back onto the grass, he was pleased to note that some color had returned to her complexion. He would avoid the reason he’d come — for now. She quite obviously was not in any condition to learn the truth that he’d discovered.
But then she said something about a kitten. Looking over his shoulder, up at the sky, he saw myriad puffy clouds, none of which appeared to resemble any animal whatsoever. “If you say so…” he said skeptically.
“Oh, no,” she said. “Lie down here beside me and look. I mean, really look.”
With a glance at his horse and another glance up and down the road to ascertain nobody was passing by, Stephen removed his hat and tentatively lay down beside her. He put his head next to hers and had an urge to take one of her hands in his. But she had reached toward the sky before he could give in to it.
“See that one, right there? It is the kitten.” She pointed to the right.
And well, yes, he supposed he saw some resemblance.
“And the one next to it,” she added sweetly, “is a tree. See the long part is the trunk, there, and the other end is the top part, with branches and leaves.”
“I will concede the kitten, Cecily,” he said. “But I will not abide you degrading the shape of any self-respecting tree by comparing it to that puffy haphazard grouping of vapor and air.”
Cecily chuckled, and then he felt her turn her head to look over at him. He did likewise. She sighed loudly. “Why have you come?” she said, suddenly looking quite serious. She did not sound very happy to see him.
“Business,” he said vaguely. He did not wish to go into any details with her on the side of a public road. He pulled himself back to a sitting position and then replaced his hat upon his head and stood up. Offering his hand to Cecily, he assisted her to stand as well. “You are feeling better now?”
“I am fine,” she said, nodding solemnly.
How many times had she said these words to him? There was something different about her.
Stephen climbed onto Phoenix and reached down a hand to her. “Put your foot upon my boot, and you can ride up in front of me.” She seemed to hesitate a moment before doing as he said. Even though she’d been unwell only moments before, she had no difficulty climbing up in front of him in one fluid motion.
Holding her, nestling her body in to his, felt like the most natural thing in the world. The scent of her, the softness of her was oh so familiar. He placed one hand around her waist and used his other to hold the rein and guide the animal. She removed her bonnet and leaned sideways against him. Her hair tickled his chin and neck.
“What sort of business?” She surprised him in her persistence. “With Flavion?”
He did not wish to lie to her. Perhaps having her sitting pressed against him, where he could hold her, comfort her, was not the worst place to relay this news after all.
“What I must tell you, Cecily, will change everything. You will have choices to make, and whatever you decide is going to affect your future drastically.” He gave her a moment to brace herself for the words he was going to speak.
