Olivia sat up, clutching the sheet to herself. She’d known he would go back to London soon. Of course, he wouldn’t stay here forever. But… Had she fooled herself into thinking he loved her? If he did, it was doubtful he could do anything about it. Even if he wanted to.
Words escaped her.
He sighed into the empty silence and then took a few hesitant steps toward the window, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular outside.
The sun was finally shining, birds could be heard singing, and Olivia could only imagine how green her garden must be this morning.
“Stanton and your sister are likely already on the road back. I’ll remain, of course, as long as he requires my assistance. As soon as…” He swallowed hard. “As soon as all the bodies have been recovered at the very least. Hell, I’ve made a mess of everything.”
He obviously included her in what he considered his mess. His words stung.
He had not felt the same emotions she had. Olivia dropped her gaze to the hem of the sheet she was clutching. “You don’t have to go because of…” She waved her hand along the bed. “Me.”
“I have… business to attend to in London—business I’ve put off too long.” And then, “I’m sorry.”
She’d scream if he uttered his apology again.
“I haven’t asked for anything from you,” she reminded him. She had a small amount of pride left. She’d not given herself to him under false pretense.
He turned his back to the window and finally met her eyes. “That’s the crux of it, Damnit, Olivia! You have every right to make demands of me. Your father ought to hold a shotgun against my brain until I’ve met you at the altar. You are a gently bred young woman, not a servant, not a woman without means. You deserve all due respect and…” He stopped and swallowed hard. Looking out the window, he added, “I’m so–”
“Stop!” At her command, he finally looked at her. She couldn’t hide the hurt she felt. Had she been so disappointing then? “Stop apologizing.”
He held her gaze steadily. “Olivia. I am betrothed.”
She inhaled but no air entered her lungs. She wrapped her arms around her stomach. He couldn’t be betrothed. It wasn’t possible. He would have told her.
This must be something new. Something he had no control over. “To one of the duke’s daughters?” But he was shaking his head.
“You don’t know her. Our fathers were the closest of friends, practically brothers. She and I have been betrothed since before her christening.”
What was he saying? “And her father will hold you to such a contract? Something enacted when you were both children?” None of this made any sense, and yet…
“Viscount Whitley passed away four years ago.” He ran one hand through his already ruffled hair. She needed to leave it be.
But then something struck her. “Her father is a viscount?” Just as hers was. But Olivia was different and always would be.
He dropped into a wooden chair and stared down at his hands. “I promised my father, Olivia. I sat beside my mother and sister and brothers at his death bed and promised to uphold the betrothal. Whitley and my father served in the military together, as younger men, and Whitley saved my father’s life. Whitley assured him they’d be even so long as my father’s eldest son, his heir, married Whitley’s only daughter.”
Olivia had listened to Gabriel speak most favorably of his family. Of course, he would uphold such a promise.
She should have known.
“Lord Stanton knows?” she asked. Likely Louella did, too.
He nodded.
Thank God Louella wasn’t here to witness her older sister’s shame.
Was the girl pretty? Olivia supposed it didn’t matter. “Do you love her?” But as soon as the words left her mouth, she held up one hand. “Please, don’t answer that.” She’d already told him she hadn’t expected an offer.
She’d loved him. And she’d not demanded anything in return.
But neither had she expected this.
“I love her, in a way, Olivia.” He’d lifted his head to meet her gaze in the steady way he had since that first night in the garden before he’d even realized that she had an affliction. “We’ve known one another for years, and she’s been forced to postpone our wedding four times due to untimely deaths in her family.”
I love her… Our wedding.
