“Exactly. You must be prepared to say the word with conviction.”
“No,” she said more firmly, causing him to smile.
“Very good, Miss Redfield.”
“I am practicing on you. No, Gabriel Fellowes, you cannot take the pie home with you. It’s for Mr. Smith and his boys. Luke Jr. would have conniptions if he returned from his scavenging this afternoon to find that the pie I promised him had been stolen away by a thieving aristocrat.”
Gabriel nearly choked on a laugh. “It would seem I needn’t have come then.”
“Indeed.”
He scooped up the last bite of gooey flaky crust and stared at her solemnly. “In all seriousness, Miss Redfield. I’d hate to see you trap yourself into a life in which you cannot escape. A lifetime is an awfully long sentence to pay for such a mistake.”
He reached across the table and captured her tight little fist in his. How could such a spritely minx feel so very fragile? And how was it that she could be so contrary with him and yet so very meek where others were concerned?
“I’ve gone over it in my mind a thousand times. My options. So much so that I can hardly see straight.” Her admission surprised him.
“And?”
“Marrying himseemsthe right thing to do, theChristianthing to do. I’d no longer be a burden to my parents. I’d have a home that was truly my own—“
“Your husband’s,” he interrupted.
“My husband’s?”
“The home would not be yours. It would belong to your husband.” He corrected any misapprehensions she might have on that matter.
“Very well. I’d have a home, though, and a family. Although this marriage isn’t at all what I’d imagined when I was younger, does that really matter? The children need me. And Mr. Smith already has expectations. As does nearly everyone else who has provided assistance. My father has given Mr. Smith permission to ask me… and I’ve not turned him down...”
“If you intend to turn him down, you’d best alter your course immediately. You cannot continue making yourself so…” he spun the fork in the air with his free hand as he searched for the best word to describe what she’d been doing, “…available. You need to cease spending your days in the man’s home.” The solution seemed apparent to Gabriel. It was also obvious to him that she was becoming more and more ensnared as each day passed.
“If I don’t come, who will care for the children? Baby Harvey–“
“Will do fine without you.”
She blew out a breath and turned her hand over, gripping his fingers tightly. Gabriel wasn’t certain she even realized that she’d done so.
“You’re right. I know you’re right. But…”
“You are as afraid of saying no as you are of saying yes,” he finished for her.
She lifted her chin and met his gaze fully. Her left eye seemed to be traveling of its own accord slightly more than it had when he first arrived. He wondered if it moved more when she was upset, or emotional.
“I’m afraid to be forgotten.” She swallowed hard and then dropped her gaze. “I know it seems foolish. Of course, I won’t be forgotten, will I? But Louella is going to have her own family now. And my father…”
Damn her father. Hallowell’s idiotic beliefs had done this to her. Isolated her. Condemned her to a life of insecurity.
“Such a fear is irrational but not foolish.” From what Gabriel had garnered from Stanton, Olivia Redfield mattered greatly to her younger sister. “Lady Stanton will never forget you. She’ll never leave you behind.” And then, because it seemed the right thing to say, he added, “And neither will I. We are friends, are we not?”
She tugged her hand back and wiped at her face. “Of course. Ignore my self-pity. I don’t know what’s the matter with me these days.”
“Come for a picnic with me tomorrow. I’ll take you to see the mine. We’ll make an afternoon of it.” Spectacular views abounded atop the hill at the mine’s opening. Seeing it might even inspire her. There was more to life than Thistle Park or Luke Smith’s troubles.
But she was already shaking her head. “My father would kill me if I went anywhere near it.” And then she pinched her lips together. She most likely was fully aware of her father’s irrational beliefs.
“Very well then. We’ll picnic by the river, and you can practice the new word we’ve added to your vocabulary.” He could check in at the mine early and then collect her at midday.
“I cannot. I’ve already promised I’d come early so that Miss Cline can attend to her chores at the vicarage. And besides, I know I’m not…” She dropped her lashes rather than continue. “But I oughtn’t to go alone with a gentleman…”
