She needed to set matters straight, once and for all. Fall was well under way, and she’d rather enter this new season of their lives with nothing hanging over them.
When he lowered her to the ground, she patted the blanket beside her.
For the first few minutes, neither of them spoke. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but it wasn’t completely comfortable either.
After breathing in the fresh air and listening to the rustling of the leaves overhead for all of two minutes, Penelope opened her mouth. “I—”
“You forgave me far too easily.” Hugh spoke before she could get two words out. He was shaking his head, looking off into the distance.
“Look at me,” Penelope demanded.
When he turned his head, all the guilt that remained lurked in his gaze.
“I am alive.”
“But—”
“Our childrenare alive.” She took his hand and placed it on the fabric of her dress just above her left breast. “Do you feel that? My heart beating? It is strong. No?”
He paused for a moment before nodding slowly.
“Not once have I blamed you for anything. Did you know that?”
“But you should have.” He swallowed hard but did not remove his gaze from hers. Oh, but she loved this man. Such warm, honest eyes. He’d never once pretended to be anyone other than who he was. With his mother’s death, and then all that happened afterward, he seemed to have lost himself.
“Do you still blame me for seducing you? I did a horrible thing, you know, taking advantage of you in Cortland’s study.” She wrinkled her nose. “How did you remember? You never told me.”
Hugh dropped his hand to her knee and drew imaginary circles with his finger there. “I saw the settee, Cortland’s settee. And I remembered you beneath me.” He looked up at her solemnly. “I’ve not taken you that way since we married.”
Because of the babies…
Their gazes locked. They had been quite creative intimately ever since their wedding. The memory sent her heart racing.
“I didn’t mean to actually lie with you that evening, you know. You were deep in your cups. I should have known it was reckless, and thoughtless, and manipulative… It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done… but now.” Penelope bit her lip. “I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Because I have you. We have our little miracle, and we have Creighton.”
“Creighton looks more like you every day.” A grin flashed across her husband’s face. “And Louella’s resemblance to my mother is uncanny.” He turned more serious. “I was returning to you anyhow. I’d decided I couldn’t live without you and that I would love your children as my own.”
Penelope simply nodded. He’d needed to say all this for a while now. So much had happened since his return, they’d not had a chance to simply ‘be’ with one another.
Hugh’s brows furrowed while he shook his head. “I was a mess. I was so angry and yet I couldn’t be without you. But I realized how much I loved you. My love for you was so much greater than any anger I felt. I want you to know that. Always.” And then he scrubbed one hand down his face. “I about lost it when the memory of that evening hit me. God! What an ass I’ve been all this time! How is it that you do not hate me? I took your maidenhood on a settee, where we could have been interrupted at any moment. And I was so damn drunk I thought I’d imagined all of it. By the time you caught up with me, I forgot even that. You should have hated me. But you didn’t. You gave me nothing but love—and the truth. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve Louella or Creighton. You labored while I gallivanted around England like a fool. And then there was that damn storm. Thank god for your cousin and her husband.”
Abigail had been absolutely wonderful. As had been Rose.
As had been Hugh.
“We are lucky,” she agreed. Again, their gazes locked. “I have missed you.” This came out almost a whisper. “Please, come back to me. Let us be happy with the past, because without it, we would have nothing.”
“I am here.”
He didn’t understand for a moment. But then a light seemed to glimmer in his eyes. With the utmost of tenderness, he pulled her closer and then down to the blanket. “I’ve missed you, too.”
Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck, not once moving her gaze from his.
And then his lips found hers. Tentative at first but then eager, knowing, demanding. And as his kiss deepened, all the needs that had been stored away ignited.
Hugh had kissed her briefly on the lips numerous times since coming home. He’d lifted her, hugged her, patted her on the head even.
God, how she’d missed this.
