“What did she say?”
“I want to speak plainly with you.” She bit her lip. Her other hand rested atop her belly, protectively, almost lovingly. “But I do not wish to anger you again.”
“I would not have you anger me again, either, Pen.” He released her hand. This would always be a barrier between the two of them. Was it not best that for now, anyhow, they avoid it? He’d rather she not throw down the gauntlet again.
“I want to be your wife, not only in the eyes of the church, but with a meeting of minds… and of bodies. We are friends, too, are we not?”
Had he considered her a friend? He supposed he had. But now? He looked into her eyes. Seeing the intelligence there, intelligence he’d recognized the first time he’d met her, he nodded. He respected Penelope. And yes, he would have her as a friend.
“You will be the father to these babies when they are born. You are their father now.”
She could not let it rest. He was her husband and any children borne of her body would be considered his own. If one of the babies was a boy, he would one day become viscount.
“I am,” he conceded but felt his irritation returning.
“The midwife says we may have relations.” She held up a hand. “Not for a few days. She said it is best to be certain things have… settled down a bit first.”
His own guilt from this morning returned swiftly. “Ididhurt you.”
“We, Hugh,we, together, hurt me. I was a full participant. Do not insult me as to insinuate I had no will in the matter. I… well… I…” She stumbled around for her words before blurting out, “I liked it, Hugh. I mean, I really liked it. It opens all possibilities up in my mind as to the type of satisfaction our joining can bring.”
He sat up straight at her words. Would she ever cease to surprise him? Damn if all his blood wasn’t rushing to his cock. His breath hitched and he couldn’t help but notice the flush spreading up her neck and into her cheeks.
Sexual tension suddenly filled the room. Oh, yes, he desired his wife. His proposal had been as driven by this as anything else and her condition had not diminished it at all.
“Afterward,” she persisted, “there was blood. It stopped rather quickly but was of some concern to me. That was why I had Rose summon the midwife.”
Her words cooled his sudden ardor significantly.
These babies were to come between them, then. They would always come between them.
“She said that for after a few days anyhow, and for just a few months most probably, marital relations would be safe.”
He was beginning to understand the gist of this conversation. “But not, I presume,” he finally understood, “against the dressing room table.”
Penelope smiled, obviously relieved to have gotten her point through his thick skull. “And, Hugh, she said that if I feel discomfort, or pain, my husband must be willing and able to desist, no matter how advanced matters have proceeded.”
He nodded slowly. So, he was not to be banned after all. “Do you trust me in this?” She had no reason to.
“I trust you, Hugh. You’ve no idea how much I trust you.” She suddenly looked vulnerable, a little lost in such a large bed, and a little alone.
Hugh bent down and removed his boots. If he returned to his room for his valet to assist him, this moment would be lost. For the second night in a row, he would disrobe in his wife’s chamber. “In that case, I will settle for a good night’s sleep.” When she went to move over, he stayed her with his hand. If she needed to be abed, he would not have her exerting herself on his behalf for any reason. He walked across the room, extinguished the candles, and then climbed onto the opposite side of the bed.
It was a comfortable mattress, softer than his own. The scent of the sheets was Penelope’s and Penelope’s alone. Clean, floral, with a hint of citrus. He burrowed into the covers and plumped the pillow under his head. There was no moonlight to come into the room, no, the maid must have drawn the curtains earlier.
He knew by her breathing that she was nowhere near sleeping. “Are you scared?” he asked into the darkness.
She would know what he referred to. “At night, Hugh, when it’s dark. The midwife says that the birth of twins can be more complicated than a regular one. She said it’s quite possible that both will not survive.”
Shewasafraid.
For all logical intents and purposes, the thought of her children not surviving ought to give him some hope. They could havehischild at a later date—a child born of his seed, not some other anonymous bastard. But the thought brought him no satisfaction. In fact, it made him slightly ill.
He moved closer to her and tucked her in beside him. “Don’t be afraid.” It was the only thing he could think to say. There were no reassurances where such matters were concerned. He’d watched Cortland near sick with worry as Lilly had labored. And Margaret had been a twin. The other child had been stillborn. He did not know the details but remembered hearing something to the effect that it had not ever really developed properly.
Penelope turned on her side and put one hand upon his chest. “I wish…” She sighed. He knew what she wished. He wished the same. He would always wish for the same, most likely until his dying day.
He wished that the babies were his.
