God, I know I’m being dramatic, even in my own mind… But this.
It hurts so bad!
It doesn’t make sense. I open my eyes and gaze down at the new boots I purchased today.
How innocent I’d been this afternoon. Excited to show him something so silly, so whimsical. When all the while he’d been thinking…
I choke on a sob, and Jessamine drops onto the bed beside me.
“Shit.” She actually puts an arm around me. “I’m sorry. I know this is gonna sound hard to believe, but I really am. That sucks. Nobody deserves to hear something like that.”
I try to nod. Try to say anything, but my throat won’t work. Except… “I need to leave. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want for him to have to tell me to leave. It’s bad enough as it is.”
She squeezes me a little. “Maybe you should talk to him?”
But I’m shaking my head. “I can’t bear…” The thought of my Tucker staring me in the eyes and telling me it’s over. I can’t bear it. I just want the good memories.
Suddenly I feel so alone. I don’t know how long we sit without saying a word.
“What do you want to do?” Jessamine can afford to be kind to me now. I’m no longer a threat.
I don’t want to think such bitter thoughts.
I want to go home. Tonight?
I hate him right now, but my heart hasn’t quite caught up. I can’t bear to leave him yet. “Can you take me to the airport tomorrow morning?” She’s the last person I want to ask.
She pats my hand. “Of course.” And then she just sits, unmoving. “What are you gonna say to him?”
I just shake my head. I don’t know. My emotions are numb. All my feelings have been slashed apart by what I just heard.
“Do you want me to say anything?”
“No!” I’m already too exposed. Devastated.
Eventually, I’ll feel humiliated.
“I… Please don’t say anything to anybody?”
She nods solemnly. “Let me know when you book a flight so that we can plan around that.”
I can’t even think of that right now. I guess I’ll need to get online. And pack. I need to pack.
At least my luggage is dry now.
“Thank you, Jessamine.” She could have been cruel, even enjoyed this. “I appreciate… everything.”
She squeezes my shoulders, pauses a few seconds, and then hesitantly leaves, closing the door behind her.
I close my eyes and fall back onto the bed. His words tumble around in my mind, like leaves on a windy autumn day. I try to make sense of them. I don’t want to believe what I just overheard. I want to believe the words he said last month.
Hell, the words he said last night. Had it all just been a lie? It must have been. Why else would he have had such a conversation with his mom.
She can’t stay.
Marry me Isabella.
It’s not gonna work.
