In a perfect world, their momma never would have died. Never would have been diagnosed, fought like hell, and then succumbed to cancer.
Those had been hellish days. We never told anyone, but right before her diagnosis Lenora and I had talked about separating. We’d somehow managed to grow apart. Started fighting about stupid, idiotic things.
All that got put on the back burner when she came home and told me she was sick.
Like an old friend, the guilt of not loving Lenora washes over me. I guess I loved her, but in the end, neither of us was in love anymore. People look at you, they think they know what’s in your heart. But nobody really does.
The boys are tossing wrappers back into the basket. My sons. I don’t spend near enough time with ’em. I’ve become father to this ranch.
“Why don’t you boys come with me this afternoon?” My sons light up at the suggestion. “Thanks for bringing ’em out, Cassidy. You about ready to go, Colt?”
Cassidy gathers the blanket and basket up. “I’ll come too,” she says matter-of-factly. “We can make an afternoon of it.”
But I’m shaking my head. “Thanks, Cassidy.” I need to hold firm. Shit, how long have I let this go? “I reckon we need a little man time. I’m sure Isabella would appreciate your help with wedding plans. I’d sure appreciate it if you’d help her out.”
There. I’ve put it out there. I hope Cassidy doesn’t force my hand and make me say words I’d rather not.
Leeland has climbed onto Colt’s back and they’re heading for the truck. Cassidy hasn’t said anything yet. I can tell she wants to argue.
“Tucker?” She says my name on a breath. “You can’t marry her!”
Colt’s climbing into the truck with the boys, but L.T.’s little ears are perked up. I shake my head at her. “Not now. If you and I need to have a talk later, we will. But get one thing straight.” I glance over at the truck again. Colt is as bad as L.T., straining to listen to every word. “I’m going to marry Isabella. I love her and nothing’s gonna change that.”
I’m not willing to drive off until Cassidy’s packed up and safely on her way, so I take the picnic basket from her and walk it to her truck.
She goes to climb in but then backs out and looks at me. “Don’t get your heart broken, Tucker. She’s already hating it here. I wasn’t gonna say anything, but she said spending time cooped up in a truck with the boys wasn’t her idea of a good time. She drank coffee but said we needed an expresso machine. Tuck, she’s just not fit to live on a ranch.”
I hold my hand up for her to stop and just walk away. I don’t want to hear this. Isa must have been tired from last night. Tired from her trip yesterday.
I climb in my truck and watch the mud kick up as she drives away. She’s a sweet girl, but she’s not Isa.
Isabella is the woman I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with– the woman I want to be a mother to my boys.
The woman I want to come home to every night–warm my heart– warm my bed.
I need to have a long talk with my family.
I’ll start with my mom.
Or so I decide.
L.T. has other ideas.
“Dad, why didn’t you want Cassidy to come with us?” L.T.’s always seemed older than he is. Smart as a whip. I imagine he got that from his mom.
“Thought we’d have some man time, right Colt? No girls allowed today.” I wink over my shoulder at Leeland.
“Are you really gonna marry Miss Isabella? She’s pretty, Dad, but I don’t think she knows how to ride horses. She don’t even got no boots.”
“I like Isa,” Leeland pipes up from the back.
Hell and heck, when did my personal life become everybody’s business? Except, these are my boys. They do actually get to have an opinion.
“I’m fixin’ to get her a pair of boots, L.T.” I drop the truck into second gear as we cross over a rise. “I figure we can teach her how to ride.”
“Whose horse will she ride, Dad?” This kid loves horses. Reminds me so much of myself when I was his age. “Maybe she can ride Tinker, and I then I can ride Trek. Do you think, Dad? Since I’m a better rider now?”
Trek is bigger. Faster. But… “We might just have to do that, L.T. ’Cause she needs a gentle horse, and you’re getting bigger now. Why don’t you ask her about that? Ask her what she thinks?”
