I’m not overly pleased with Charlie right now, either.
“What do you mean you’re checking out?” Panic has hold of her voice. She isn’t ready for this. I’m not either, but I just can’t…
I clench my jaw. This will be so much easier in the long run without a sobbing, heartfelt goodbye. Neither of us will make any promises to regret after a few weeks.
“Like I said. Hit a few snags.” And then I make the mistake of looking at her. Those eyes.
My eyes.
Shining with tears. Bottom lip trembling. “Colt.” She swallows hard. This woman is so fucking strong she puts me to shame. She’s going to be noble. Why doesn’t she start calling me names? Throw her stapler at me?
“When did he get back? Did you know he was coming?” I tilt my head in the direction Asshat disappeared.
She’s shaking her head slowly, dazed. “I… didn’t. Nobody told me.”
Which in my opinion is a dick move on the part of her managers. Surely, they know. Personal information has a way of making the rounds up here. My bet is that every employee on the ranch knows who Charlie’s baby daddy is.
“So, hey. You won’t be alone after all. You can take him to your Lamaze class next week.”
I’ve slashed her with those words. Easier for her to let go.
“Can we…” She glances around. “Talk outside for a minute?” She starts to come out from around her desk, but I halt her with my hand.
“I really don’t have time for this.” I can’t do it. I can’t. I steel myself against these God damn fucking feelings taking over my body. “If you wouldn’t mind…” I glance at the computer. “Checking me out.”
Charlie just stares at me. For an instant, I see all my pain reflected in her face. But then she seems to shake it off. She nods.
“Of course.” She lowers herself back into her chair.
Her hands shake as she places them on the keyboard. As she begins typing, though, they gradually steady.
Those hands. I turn my head and look outside again.
After a few minutes, her printer comes to life. She removes the printout and slides it across the desk. When I reach for it she covers my hand. I’m pierced. I’m wounded. Her touch kills me. It nearly shreds my resolve.
“I love you.”
No.
Fuck no. Why? Is this some attempt to lay a shitload of guilt on me? Except I know Charlie, and I fucking know that it isn’t. It’s just a gift.
“You don’t have to take it.” Her smile wobbles. How the hell does she do that? “You can take it with you. Burn it. Shove it in a drawer. Throw it out the window. But when you need it, it’s there. A piece of my heart.” She releases my hand, rises, and without looking back, walks through the sliding glass doors.
She left me.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Charlie
It took everythingI had to leave. I knew if I watched him walk away from me, I’d break down. I might even have begged him not to go. So instead, I held up my head and marched out that door.
I didn’t look back.
I can’t endure watching him walk away from me.
Without realizing where I’m going, I wander out to the green– our place– and allow the tears to fall. At first, they’re all sweet and quiet. Silent tears welling up and overflowing. But as reality sets in, they turn to sobs. I don’t stop sobbing until I’m spent. The shadows of the trees are long and dark. Suddenly, I’m me again, just lying on the grass, staring up at the sky.
“Just us.” I pat Squirt. “You and me.”
