CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Colt
Idon’t returnto my cabin.
I run. I don’t care where. Out to the main road and back.
To the green.
I need to end this now. She thinks I’m mad at her, but God no. I’m pissed at myself.
I’ve been acting like her fucking boyfriend all week. I cook for her, massage her feet, worry about her. What did I expect?
Top that off with the fact she’s a soon-to-be single mother. I’m an ass, and I should have never pursued her. What the hell was I thinking?
My heartbeat pounds in my head as my feet hit the ground. How did this happen? I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself.
By the time I get back to my cabin, I’m dripping with sweat. I have no idea what time it is. I go inside, and the first thing I notice is her wine glass. Her purse. Fuck.
The lasagna we were going to share still sits on the counter.
The bedroom’s even worse. When she walked out of here, she did so wearing her dress and her sandals.
And nothing else.
A hot pink bra and barely there panties taunt me from the floor by my bed. I scrub my face with both hands.
Fuck.
She’s everywhere. The note pad by the bed with one of the songs I wrote this week… reminds me of her. In bold letters at the top of the page I wrote ‘Something Special.’ Of course, it’s about Charlie.
I can’t be in this bedroom right now. Her scent is on the pillows. The sweet smell of woman.
My woman.
And sex.
I pull out my guitar. The wooden neck and the strings are as familiar to me as the back of my hand.
Close my eyes.
Like a movie reel, moments with Charlie play in my brain.
Was I just pretending with her? Pretending to care?
E-minor. And then it comes. After less than ten minutes, it’s all down on paper. I don’t need to write it down… it’s written on my soul:
I never touched your body.
You never touched my heart
You’re a dream that never happened but you’re tearing me apart.
So, I’ll go on pretending and life will go on
I’ll just keep pretending, now that you’re gone.
Pretending is for children, It’s an art, it’s a skill.
