It’s about the guilt. That cold, empty feeling he experienced the other day. Had that just been yesterday? I feel like I’ve known him a lifetime. I’m nodding. This is what he needs for now. “I hate being pushed away.” I try to explain. “It’s confusing.” He needs to know this. “At some point you need to letmegive toyou. Don’t take that away from me.”
His short laugh echoes ironically. But he doesn’t let me go. I absorb his warmth. A part of me wants to stay with him tonight, in his bed, but the rational side of me knows I need to regroup. Assess what’s happening without the heady distraction of his presence. Holding hands, we walk to my cabin. I’m lucky that I have my own place set on the edge of the employee cabins.
“Now I know where to find you.” He pulls me up against him again when I stop at my door.
“I’d invite you in,” I tease. “But I might compromise you.”
A lingering kiss, and I finally unlock the door.
He takes a few backward steps. “Come see me when you get off work.” His words float through the darkness. “I’ll cook for you.”
Another date. More exposure to his deadly charm.
I’m grinning. “I can’t wait.”
He springs forward, pressing his lips against mine in a quick kiss. “Night, Beautiful.” And then he turns and jogs away.
I watch him disappear before closing my door and locking it. I feel so good right now it scares me. Because the higher I get, the further I’ll have to fall.
I guess I’ll just have to fall then.
It’s not in my DNA to give into fear. I won’t start now.
“God, you lookhappy.” Teri shuffles a few files around and drops them on my desk. “I can’t imagine why.”
As much as I tried to keep my involvement with Colt quiet, word got out anyway. Colt and I have seen each other every day for a week now. And in a place like the Ranch, gossip spreads like wild fire. Especially when it involves their pregnant masseuse/Guest Services agent hooking up with a world-renowned country music star.
“He’s fun.” I don’t want to admit how hard I’m falling. “We have a lot in common.” Which, yeah, that sounds a little ridiculous, right? But it’s not.
He’s adorable. He’s attended a few regular yoga classes and has admitted he enjoys them. He’s gone rafting again, done a few hiking trips, and occasionally slips in a game of golf.
Teri frowns. “So, it’s just fun. Promise me you won’t fall in love. I don’t want to see you heartbroken again.”
She’s been with me through it all. “Brent didn’t break my heart.” The rat turd didn’t even tell me he was leaving. I found out he was gone when I came in to work the next Monday. “He simply revealed my own lack of good judgement.”
“Yeah, but…” Teri trailed off. “Colt Forrester? Be careful, okay? He’s not exactly relationship material.”
Her words are well meant. Of course, I know Colt is leaving. It’s a constant ache in the back of my mind.
I can’t dwell on it. I’m determined to enjoy what we have for now.
We have fun together.
Although we’ve left the ranch a few times for dinner, we seem to have the most fun cooking together, in his cabin.
Always his cabin.
I can’t bring him into mine. It would only make it harder after he leaves. I need to protect that part of me. Keep my home a sanctuary for afterwards… I tell myself over and over again that Colt and I are just having fun. He jokes about his sole purpose in life being to calm my “raging hormones.” We’re enjoying one another physically, and in one week we’ll say goodbye as friends.
And he does enjoy me. Almost as much as I enjoy him.
I’m not fooling myself.
He’s even admitted to calling me his muse. He’s writing music again. Says he hasn’t written anything new in years.
Some nights we watch movies, others I listen to him play his guitar. But in the end things turn physical. We can’t help it.
My raging hormones are quite satisfied, thank you. They no longer have any reason whatsoever to complain.
