Surely not.
This time, he made no mistake.
The woman who’d taken up permanent residence in his thoughts had slipped inside and was kneeling in the back row. Her presence sent a buzzing through his limbs. The air itself came to life, charging the chapel with an energy it had lacked only moments before.
He froze. She’d not seen him. He swallowed hard and just as he would make himself known, a gut-wrenching moan echoed off the ancient stone.
“I’m sorry, God, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do it.” Her forehead dropped onto the pew in front of her and great sobs shook her shoulders. “But I can’t go on this way, God, I can’t.”
Confession
She needed to repent. She needed to confess, if only to an empty church in the middle of the night.
“I’m sorry, God, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do it.” Once she allowed the tears to flow, she couldn’t rein them in. “But I can’t go on this way, God, I can’t.” The thought of taking her own life beckoned, but she pushed it away. But what could she do? She faced hopelessness at every turn.
“Rhoda.”
The sound of her name echoed from near the altar.
She froze. God didn’t just speak to people like that. Did he? She reared back and peered farther into the chapel. Sitting in the very first pew, she eyed a masculine silhouette. “Who’s there?”
He rose and stepped into the aisle.
Carlisle.
This man evoked a tumult of confusion inside her. Sometimes, he gave her peace; other times, he’d stirred up want. Tonight, she ought to be angry with him.
No, that wasn’t fair. He owed her nothing.
Despite that she’d felt betrayed earlier. And if he’d truly thought Emily washer, well…
Had he really thought she was Emily? Emily would not lie about such a thing.
“What are you doing here? Do you come here every night? Is that what vicars do?” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. She hated that he’d heard her crying. She’d sounded like a wounded animal, for heaven’s sake.
As he approached, she made room for him to sit in the pew beside her.
“Sometimes. When I feel the need.” He sighed deeply. “I could use some clarity tonight.”
And then she remembered. He’d been backed into a corner, by Emily—practically at her will. She had encouraged Emily to do whatever might be necessary.
“Did you really think it was me?” The words escaped her mouth before she could think better of them. She had to know. Would it change anything? Likely not, but she wanted, no, sheneededto know.
“Of course, I thought it was you!” Affront and disgust laced his voice in his abrupt response. Irritation etched lines in his forehead. His countenance carried a darkness she’d not think he could summon.
He’d thought Emily had been her.
Warmth spread through her. He’d been sincere in his declaration. He really had wanted to court her. Only none of that mattered now.
Would he feel the same if he knew everything though? Her conniving? Her manipulating?
What she’d done to Dudley Scofield, to Sophia’s stepbrother?
That burning sensation crushed her lungs at the thought of revealing her sin. And yet. She could trust him. Sheknewshe could trust him.
No matter what transpired after this. She’d know how special of a person he was.
“You will ask for her?” Of course, he would. She’d hate him if he didn’t. And then she’d hate him after he did.
