Every word was like a punch to the chest. They knew each other too well. Something about everything Fabrice said hurt his heart. “I hear you, but you missed a key detail: Zeus doesn’t want me. That guy doesn’t want anyone. Not really.” Clay’s gaze moved to the gorgeous tropical trees and flowers surrounding the pool. He felt like he was in a hidden paradise. Clay needed a balm on his soul before he finished his thought. “No one really wants me.”
Silence met his claim.
Clay turned his head and found Fabrice staring at him with fire dancing in his eyes. “That’s not true, and you know it.”
Here they were again. Clay desperately wished he had never acted on a moment of weakness and kissed Fabrice, stepping over an invisible line two years ago. Now all either of them did was act like nothing changed and do every act of friendship as over-the-top as possible. It was as if they fought to convince each other of some lie.
This time, Clay couldn’t back away from this conversation. “You’re the one who said you didn’t want us. You’re the one who said everyone would flip out since we had been raised like brothers. Please don’t look at me like I’m killing you. I already had to mourn you.”
Fabrice looked away. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. You’re a grown man. Get your heart broken. Lose your chance to get away. What do I care?” Fabrice stood and headed for the house.
A growl of frustration rose in Clay’s throat. “Fabrice.” He couldn’t stop himself from calling out.
Fabrice turned. He looked closed—like he had withdrawn all care from Clay.
Clay’s shoulders sagged. All he ever did was somehow end up alone. “I heard what you said. You know I love you and value your opinion. I’ll keep every word you said in mind. You know I can’t take you being mad at me.”
Fabrice seemed to deflate. He dropped his defensive stance and moved back to Clay. Fabrice bent and kissed Clay’s forehead again. “I’m not mad at you, beautiful. I’m mad at myself. Just be happy, okay?”
Clay nodded. His throat tightened. He wanted to tell his best friend that he didn’t know how to find joy in anything. But Clay had a bad feeling Fabrice wasn’t his best friend any longer and hadn’t been for a while. Like everything else, that was on him. Clay might have no choice about living with Fabrice, but he could stop making things worse by showing up. It was like ripping out his own heart, but Fabrice would be better off without him in his life.
Red and black makeup ran down the drain. Thankfully, Scout had gotten good at washing off the clown face in record time. Anytime he had to get too close to a target, Scout chose a clown persona. Not only did the move hide his identity, but clowns made people uncomfortable. Nothing could make people cross the street and not look directly at someone like an evil-looking harlequin. It was harder for a witness to pick him out of a lineup if they refused to look at him.
While technically Scout hadn’t left the Bosi estate, he didn’t take chances. If anyone saw him, he might draw too much attention to the property. He would never jeopardize the family just to soothe his jealousy. Unfortunately, eavesdropping only left him with more questions than answers. He had heard every word said between Fabrice and Clay. He wished he hadn’t caught the part about Scout keeping him tied to a family Clay seemingly wanted to leave behind. Clay had never acted anything other than happy with the people in his life. Now he knew Clay wanted something more than this life, and he couldn’t unlearn that.
With his face clean, Scout tossed his shirt and towel into the laundry chute before stepping out into his bedroom. Clay sat on the edge of the bed, waiting. Emotions overwhelmed him, theway they always did when he saw Clay. His gorgeous hazel eyes always stole Scout’s breath. His blond hair was a windblown mess. Scout would find a way to make sure Clay got the life he wanted, even if that meant Scout didn’t get to keep him.
“Hey. I didn’t think I’d see you for a while.”
Clay smirked. “I can’t tell if you’re a terrible liar or not. But I know you had to know I was on my way, since you sat in the bushes watching me all night.”
Damn. That looked bad. He climbed onto the bed and settled on his back. Scout didn’t want to look Clay in the eye and lie again. “I was worried about you. Fabrice is your best friend, but he’s in love with you. I didn’t know what would happen tonight. Jealousy is a hell of a motivator.” Okay, so maybe he didn’t intend to lie as boldly as he thought.
Clay’s shoulders expanded like he drew an overly deep breath. “You don’t want to hear anything about all that.” Clay never looked Scout’s way as he made the claim.
Scout brushed the tips of his fingers down the small of Clay’s back. “You can talk to me about it. I’m your friend too.”
Clay shot to his feet and tore off his shirt. “Yeah, I know. You’ve made it abundantly clear we’re friends. I get it.”
Scout blinked at the unexpected rage. Before he could figure out what just happened, Clay crawled onto the bed and straddled Scout. His tongue was in Scout’s mouth before Scout couldthink of a single thing to say. Then, there were no thoughts. There was only Clay. Clay’s kiss was almost punishing. All Scout could focus on was Clay shoving his shorts down his hips—like he planned to take what he wanted. Scout kind of wanted to slow things down and make sure Clay was good. Clay made any hesitation impossible. Scout was on fire. Nothing existed beyond the body covering him. Clay always made him feel like no one else existed. He had Clay’s full attention, and Clay acted like there was nothing he wanted as desperately as he wanted to fuck Scout. Everything about Clay was a fucking ego trip. Scout couldn’t quit him even if Clay chose someone else. He was an addict. Scout would follow Clay to the ends of the earth, tweaking for one more night.
Scout tore his mouth away. “Goddamn. Please fuck me already.”
A wicked-sounding chuckle caressed his ears. “Tell me where.”
Scout didn’t play games. It was like they shared a brain right then. He pointed toward the nightstand. Scout had set everything they needed there earlier. He had known they would be impatient. It was like they were incapable of moving slowly.
Clay moved to his feet and stripped.
Scout watched with his heart in his throat. While Clay gave off no-game energy, the truth was he wasn’t scared of shit. He had them nude in under two minutes. Clay gave him a whole-ass show while Scout watched. He rolled a condom down his length and coated the outside with lube. Clay didn’t stop there. He climbed back onto the bed and between Scout’s thighs. All Scoutcould do was enjoy the moment. Then Clay toyed with Scout’s asshole. Scout forgot his own name. Everything disappeared but the sensation of Clay fingering him and stretching him. While Clay was a self-proclaimed bisexual, he obviously had his share of experience with men. Scout wasn’t sure he would ever breathe properly again.
“Don’t be afraid to critique me. I want to make you happy.”
Clay hit that sweet spot as he made the claim, and Scout’s hips left the bed. “Goddamn, Clay. You’re doing great.”
Clay’s expression stayed closed. Scout had no clue how Clay felt. Honestly, his expressionless face was a bit unnerving. It was almost as if Clay wasn’t there. His mind had gone elsewhere while his body ran on autopilot. Scout forgot to worry when Clay began slowly pressing his way in. His cock stretched Scout, making Scout feel fuller than he ever had before. He loved it. Scout wanted it.
He ground his back teeth, desperately clinging to his patience. Scout recognized Clay tried not to hurt him. He couldn’t take it any longer. “Fuck me.” Even to Scout’s ears, he sounded needy as fuck.
