His eyes widen at her answer, then he pulls her in for a hug. Olivia lets out another small huff, oblivious to the deeper meaning of this decision that only Mom and I know about. Mom finds my eyes, looking conflicted when they pull back. I shake my head at her and nod, smiling. Something along the lines of relief clears in her eyes before she takes a deep breath.
“That settles it. Kate, Bianca,and I will be moving to California in a month,” he announces, causing Olivia to ask to talk to him privately, leaving Mom and me as they walk off.
Her hand comes into my line of vision. “I’m trying to be happy for you, Mom. I am. It’s just—” I can’t even finish before she scoots closer, hugging me.
“You’re such a selfless person. But you can tell me, what’s really racing through your head?” Mom never fails to impress me and is truly one of the most noble people I know.
“I can’t go back.” My truth spills out. “My college applications have all been sent out for schools here.” Every single one was sent to Pennsylvania schools, I mean, except for one. One that I sent for fun, one that even if I got accepted, I doubted I would ever take. “I already got used to Philly. I can’t leave my friends here,” I continue. I mean, I only have Jamie, but still—going somewhere to start over again?
Mom’s hand brushes some strands of hair behind my ear as her soft fingers cup my chin. “Sweetie, it’s been five years. Maybe he’ll be glad to see you again.” She sighs. “I don’t think it’s the worst news. My contract with the firm is almost over. You’re done with school,and we can always apply to other colleges. California has some great options.”
I nod. “You know, that’s also where Dad—” I start, but I don’t finish as she glances at me and she shakes her head.
“I know. That was myfirstthought. Los Angeles holds so many bad memories for me,” she whispers, rubbing her stomach subconsciously. Over time, neither the redness nor the scar on her stomach ever quite went away. Now, it’s like a constant reminder of what she lost. “Maybe we can create some new memories. I don’t know why, but I have this feeling that things will be better this time around,” she says, trying to be a little optimistic.
Josh and Olivia come back, and Mom glances at me with a look of “we’ll talk more later.” Besides the murmurs between Mom and Josh, it’s a rather quiet rest of the meal, and we eventually reach home. Of course, Josh will be staying over, as he always does, but today I don’t even care. All that’s in my head is that I’m going back to the place that I wanted to forget.
As I walk into my room, emotionally exhausted, I struggle with my thoughts. How am I going to break the news to the only friend I have? I know I can’t make the same mistake twice and withhold it till the very last second. I flop onto my bed as memories about thatsomeonethat I haven’t thought about in a long time come rushing back.
I last talked to Liam five years ago, and it still hurts like it happened yesterday. We had become the best of friends, and we promised—hepromised—that just because I had to move away, we would never lose what we had. They say long distance is hard, but I didn’t listen, naively thinking our friendship could weather anything.
It didn’t exactly help that on my birthday, we had a fight. He didn’t call when he said he would, and I was hurt and jealous that he was moving on. That if he missed something as big as my birthday, how much more till he forgot about me completely? Yet, what hurt the most is that the door was never fully closed.
Tears gather in my eyes, but I refuse to cry about this. It’s been years, and I was just a little girl who believed in promises, in Liam.
Now, I don’t believe in either of those things.
I was hurt after our fight and made the mistake of blocking him. I undid it after a couple days, feeling ashamed of myself. I gave him a chance to contact me after, but he didn’t, and that sent the message loud and clear.
Then, when Mom started working at the firm, she met Josh. He convinced her that our other service provider was horrible, which wasn’t too inaccurate. Mom didn’t have a lot of connections when Dad died, so she isolated herself.A fresh start,she said. And after many nights of me crying for hours, I asked for a new number along with her.
Eventually, I stopped caring and moved on. I had a new life and new friends. Thing is, I never once thought I’d be thrust back to the place I’d been trying to escape.
CHAPTER TWO
BIANCA
My anxiety hasn’t gone away; if possible, it’s gotten worse. Jamie’s on her way with a surprise, and I’m over here planning on how to tell her I’m moving. Do I just say it, or should I beat around the bush?
When the doorbell rings, I rush to get it, Mom giving me a sympathetic look before letting me open the door. I’m wrapped in a bear hug instantly.
“Hey, girl!”
I sigh, embracing her longer than usual, and a nervous chuckle leaves her as we pull apart. She looks at me quizzically. “You okay?”
“Yeah, of course. So, what’s the surprise?” I switch the topic, and her face lights up again.
“I brought ice cream, cookie dough, soda, and some tissues for our movie marathon,” she says, and I start giggling.
“Jamie, I don’t need all this stuff.” I juggle some of the items in my arms and she looks at me incredulously.
“Who said this was for you?” I slap her on the shoulder as she giggles, apparently thinking her joke was the funniest in the world.Heading upstairs, she breaks out into conversation, but as much as I want to pay attention, my mind drifts off.
A bounce on my bed makes me snap my head in focus, and Jamie sighs.
“Okay, that’s twice now.” She shoves the spoon in the rapidly melting tub of ice cream, a look of concern on her face, and I give her my best innocent-looking expression.
“What?”
