He shrugs, but then raises his hands in surrender for the second time tonight. “It’s not like that. She seems like a chill person, plus I’m her orientation leader.” My heart eases at that, but I still give him a look of disbelief while he looks at me exasperated. “Okay, not thatshe paid attention to me like that anyway. She only looked at you.” A blush starts on my face. “You know, I’ve always wondered why you weren’t interested in dating. I get it now.”
I shrug him off. “You know nothing.”
“I know you’ve never looked at anyone else like you looked at her tonight, and I’ve known you for two years now.” He doesn’t back down, and the fire in his eyes is matched with mine because I don’t dothis. I don’t talk about my feelings with people—I keep them to myself. Even if I wanted to, Chase wouldn’t even be in my top five. “She talked about you, you know.” My ears perk up at that and he looks at me with a slight smirk. “When I was treating her ankle. I asked her if she knew you and she said ‘yeah, once upon a time.’ I mean, based on that answer, it seems like you must’ve done a number on her.”
At that, the soft bloom of curiosity starting in my chest shrivels at the insinuation, andthisis why I don’t talk to anyone. They assume that it’s my fault. Like I didn’t lose my best friend, the girl who ruined me for anyone else.
“Chase, you don’t know what happened, and I’d really appreciate it if you stayed out of it. You and I are roommates—nothing more—so stop trying to butt in, please. Let it go.”
His eyebrows scrunch slightly and he chuckles, somewhat annoyed. He takes the other beer and leaves the room, closing the door, and I huff. I think about our last phone call. The days following it. How horrible I felt. I couldn’t believe I had messed up that bad. I thought giving her space would help.
I thought.
I thought we had something that would last forever, and while I want to be mad, to be angry at her, all that envelops my heart is regret and shame. We both felt discarded, and after what we said ... Could we have still stayed best friends?
I throw on my jacket, ready to leave, my heart softening at the photo, and I hate the conflict going on inside me. Half of me wants to go find her—she was limping, and Chase might not have eventreated her ankle correctly. The other half wants to transfer out of here to never see her again. Yet, something simmers lowly in my chest.
Yeah, hope is gonna be the death of me.
CHAPTER NINE
BIANCA
“Why did you let me drink so much?”
Vanessa groans, glancing over as she wakes up half an hour before we need to meet at the student union, making me more nervous by the minute.
I chuckle. “I didn’tletyou, technically. Also, you sleep like the dead. I’ve been trying to wake you for the last ten minutes.” She rolls her eyes at me as she goes over to wash her face.
Picking up her phone, her eyes widen. “Oh, we’re gonna be late!” I shake my packed duffel bag and she gives me a thumbs-up. We rush out of the room and over to our destination.
Well, as best as I can rush with the whole ankle situation.
“C’mon, I know a shortcut.” She grabs my hand as we tuck behind the older buildings in desperate need of renovation. Last night was a catastrophe, and while it’s still affecting me, Vanessa seems fine. I drop her hand when Chase and the rest of the group come into view, as everything from last night circles in my mind.
Liam.Liam was the guy she had a thing with, who she wanted me to be a wingwoman for. She had her hands all over him, andwhile jealousy coursed up my spine, I realized he’s no one for me to get jealous over. We’re practically strangers now. All night, I tortured myself as countless scenarios ran through my mind. He knew her, and for her to be on him like that, crushed me. He didn’t even try to look for me—not that I made it easy. Once Chase did what he could for my ankle, I limped as fast as I could out of there. Thankfully, one of the designated drivers offered me a ride back to Juniper Hall.
Chase and Vanessa start leading us for round two of our tour, but I remain at the back with my head down. We stop at one of the humongous libraries on campus with the mascot statue having water flowing through it. Turning around, Chase shyly waves at me and I upturn my head at him.
Our reunion—Liam and mine—was probably the most disappointing one there could’ve ever been. Of course, my clumsy side had to show, and then Chase and Vanessa got involved. For a moment, I thought maybe I was wrong, that this brooding guy standing in front of me wasn’t—couldn’t—be the guy I remembered. Yet, when the light from inside hit him just right, the swirls in his eyes brought me the warmth I’ve been craving since I moved away. My ankle was swelling, and a little headache was starting due to the smell of alcohol, but with him ...
All I wanted to do was stay there while he looked at me. It’s been years since we stopped talking, and I’m over it. Or at least, I thought I was, but last night proved otherwise. Now, he’ll be in my life, going to the same school as me when I start next semester.
I could always avoid him—the university is vast—but I’ve run into him twice already. I hear a laugh, and my attention turns to everyone taking pictures of the beautiful willow tree in the school’s arboretum. Chase and Vanessa are laughing at something and my heart tugs.
They’ve gotten to experience Liam all these years while I haven’t. I know I had overreacted back then. I was young and dumb, and was feeling left out and jealous. And now, I’m experiencing it all over again. I’m sitting at a table with Chase and Vanessa, along with someof their friends in the cafeteria, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone. I laugh in the right places, smile when someone says my name, nod when someone’s talking, but my heart is bleeding inside.
It’s almost time for orientation to be over, and I’m torn apart. I’m convincing myself over and over again to accept everything. At least Liam has friends—more than that, it looks like—and I’m happy for him. Sighing while stabbing my food, someone bumps their shoulder with mine and I slap on a smile, only to be met with Chase.
“You okay?” he asks, and I sag slightly because he knows what’s wrong. Liam’s probably told him all about me, and I hate that he knows what went down.
“Yeah, all good. Ankle’s feeling better, thankfully.” I divert the conversation and he shakes his head as he adjusts his hat.
“That’s not what I meant.” I shrug, not wanting to talk about it, and he sighs, digging his palms into his eyes. “I swear you and Liam are so alike, it pisses me off.” I look at him in confusion. “You’re both stubborn, and I have no idea what went down between you two. But you two should talk.”
Pushing my tray away, I mutter, “Chase, I’ve known you for two seconds, so drop it.”
He points at that, laughing. “You both even say the same thing, more or less. I think—”
