How do I explain that I’ve spent my entire life building up walls, so admitting that I’ve let them down is terrifying?
Hale rubs my shoulder. “I know.”
I forgot that he can feel my emotions. He knows how I feel about them but doesn’t push me to say it. Another reason why I… love them.
“But now that your heat seems to have passed, we probably need to decide on next steps.” Calder is always quick to get down to business. “What do you want things to look like when we return to SVU? I assume we’ll start courting officially?”
Feeling overwhelmed, a headache starts brewing.
“Slow down, Cal,” Hale says. “We’re taking it slow. Kady will return to Stella House with her friends, if that’s what she wants? Then we’ll go from there.”
“Okay.” I nod slowly. I can do that. “That sounds good. For now, at least. But I don’t want a traditional courtship.” I screw up my nose. “I don’t need any gifts. You’ve all been generous enough already by bringing me here. All I want is to get to know you properly and spend more time together.”
Ezra grins. With his commitment struggles, the slower pace will appeal to him too. “I guess that’s settled, then.”
“You’re really okay with that?” I turn to Hale, thinking about Faye and the Silverwood Pack. Granted, they bonded properly, but I know that her alphas didn’t want to be apart from her for a second.
“If it’ll make you happy, then we’re happy.” Hale dips his head in agreement. “I can’t say that it won’t be a challenge to be separated from you, but we understand how important your independence is to you. We’ll respect that.”
“Thank you.”
Their acceptance makes my heart skip a beat. There isn’t one set road to forming a pack. We don’t have to rush into anything or follow society’s ideals of what courting should look like. While the Valen Pack are my scent matches, it doesn’t mean my whole life has to change instantly.
They’re my true pack. I know that now. I’ll never want anyone else but them, but I’m not ready to feel the full tie of bonding yet. Maybe I’ll get there one day, maybe I won’t, but it doesn’t change my feelings for them.
When my stomach rumbles, Riven jumps out of bed like he’s been electrocuted.
“How does breakfast sound for next steps?”
I smile. “That sounds perfect.”
FORTY-FOUR
Kady
THREE WEEKS LATER…
Since returning to SVU, all the stress of the semester has dissipated, and I’ve never been happier. After news of my courting the Valen Pack spread across campus, I’ve only had to deal with light teasing from Devon about ‘screwing a teacher’ and a few dirty looks from broken-hearted botany students. Otherwise, everything feels like it’s fallen effortlessly into place.
With the Blandon Pack gone and an invitation to celebrate Christmas in Rose Harbor, the future feels exciting. Even my dad has been in touch more regularly. Our relationship is still a work in progress, but now that he’s stopped playing matchmaker, he’s finally showing a genuine interest in my studies for the first time and even promised to visit us over the holidays.
Although I’m still living in Stella House, I see the guys most days. Between their schedules, Calder, Ezra, and Riven take turns meeting me between classes. Despite them reluctantly sticking to my rule of no gifts, they’ve made it a personal mission to ensure that I’m hydrated and am never without a morning coffee from Bouncing Bunna.
To escape from the cold, Riven and I spend a lot of time studying together in the library. I find such comfort in our quiet moments together, our knees brushing under the table as we read. He has a way of bringing me calm whenever I’m stressed, and I’ve noticed that his confidence is increasing—especially in the bedroom, where he’s treating giving me pleasure as seriously as his study of the stars.
After hours, I’ve also spent a surprising amount of time in the greenhouse with Ezra. It turns out being fucked amongst the flower beds is a new kink of mine, and it drives Ezra wild too. For someone who used to be afraid of commitment, he’s now leaning into our connection, opening up about his childhood and inner thoughts. Courting a botanist also comes with the benefit of having extra pot plants to display in Stella House.
Calder and I see each other a lot at the office. We bounce off each other, discussing ideas and having passionate discussions. I like how he challenges me, pushing me out of my comfort zone. His smoldering looks from across the room have also made me dash to the bathroom to change my panties more than once.
I tend to see Hale more in the evenings, after he’s finished work. We’ve been trying out all the independent restaurants around Forestville, chatting over delicious plates of food about anything and everything. He’s learning to set better boundaries at work and even hired extra help, but he’s still a work in progress. He puts the pack and his family before himself, but I have a big surprise planned for his birthday that’s going to help him. Everyone else is following their dreams, so why can’t he?
Sometimes I spend the weekend at their apartment. While I’ve made their bachelor pad a little more homey with the introduction of cute, soft pillows and throws from Nora’s Nesting Nook, my wardrobe is shrinking as the guys insist on having items of mine to keep my scent fresh in the home.
Our relationship is progressing at a natural pace. I mean, what’s the rush when we have an entire lifetime to be together?
My bond connection with Hale doesn’t seem to have changed. I’ve done more research about omega bonds since then, and Riven was right about there being few longitudinal studies. Unfortunately it’s impossible to know how lasting our connection will be. However, it does appear to have made my scent less potent to other alphas. Even on a safe campus like SVU, it doesn’t hurt to be less desirable.
While I can feel Hale’s faint presence most of the time, it’s stronger when we’re in close proximity. Calder suggested that I try biting the rest of them to see if it creates a similar bond to what I have with Hale, but we agreed as a pack that it wasn’t a good idea due to not properly understanding what consequences it could have. Though I’m coming around to the idea that bonding wouldn’t be the worst thing, we’ve all agreed not to fully bond until after I graduate. Despite being fully committed to each other, I don’t want any bond distracting me from my studies. As I’m a Sinclair, bonding a pack would come with extra media attention, copious paperwork, and who knows whether I’ll be able to concentrate on my assignments during the bond adjustment phase? Thankfully, they understand that I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. Still, being away from them isn’t easy.
