Someone’s shouting in the distance, and then hands are grabbing me—extra sets of hands. I’m yanked off of Trakan and hauled backward several feet. I swing wildly despite the fact that I can no longer reach him. I’m snarling furiously, because I want to make him regret the awful things he’s saying. I’m not like him. I’m not. I’m not using Farli.
I’m not.
But then she’s there, at my side. Her hands go to my face, and she presses her warm, warm fingers against my cheeks.Her eyes are full of concern and love, and I suck in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I’m lost in that shining, glowing blue and in her touch. The thrumming sound of her khui fills the air, and I focus on it and the soft, breathless sound of her whispering my name.
My Farli.
“What is the meaning of this?” Chatav says stiffly. I reluctantly pull my gaze away from hers and see that the captain and the chief are standing in the doorway, both of them frowning in my direction. The elderly hunter, Vaza, is pulling Trakan to his feet. There’s blood all over Trakan’s face, and his lip is swollen. My hand throbs with a silent reminder of what I’ve just done.
I don’t care. If they let go of me right now, I’d attack him all over again. But Farli keeps touching me, and somehow, I manage not to lunge at Trakan once more.
“Kochal?” Chatav demands, glaring at Trakan. “Speak.”
“Kef if I know what’s going on with him, Captain. I was just asking Vendasi here where the game board remote was and he lost his cool. Started attacking me. Think he needs a psych evaluation if you ask me.” He presses his hand to his split lip and winces. “Been in space for too keffing long without a meds adjustment.”
I growl low in my throat.
“It is all right,” Farli murmurs, her hand stroking my shoulder. “Do not look at him, Mardok. Look at me.”
“Vendasi?” Chatav asks, wanting my side of the story.
I remain silent. Everyone’s staring at me, and I don’t want the others to feel humiliated at the thought of Trakan trying to take advantage of them. I sure don’t want to repeat what he said about Farli, because I don’t ever, ever want her thinking that I would use her. So I say nothing.
“Guilty, like I said,” Trakan tells everyone.
“Kochal, I somehow doubt very much that you were innocently asking for the remotes and nothing more,” Chatav says to Trakan, tone cold. “That being said, I do think it wise if both of you spend some time apart. Everyone is under a lot of stress right now, and this ship isn’t large enough to hold two hotheads in close quarters. I’m barring both of you from the common areas for the rest of the day. Spend your time in your quarters and think about what you’ve done.” It sounds like he’s scolding children and not grown adults.
“Come stay with me tonight,” Farli says softly, stroking my cheek. “Come back to the village. You can return in the morning.”
Vektal nods. “We will take Mardok with us. The other can stay here.”
“Very well,” Chatav says, clasping his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry you had to see this shameful display.”
“They are hunters,” Vektal tells him with a shrug. “Tempers run hot. It happens from time to time.” He seems unconcerned, and my respect for him goes up a notch for treating us like adults. His strange glowing blue gaze focuses on me. “Do you need to see a healer?”
I flex my hand. To use med bay for something so small would be ridiculous. “I’m fine.”
“Let us get your fur wraps,” Farli murmurs to me. “And we’ll go back down to the village. Come.”
I let her lead me away, though the urge to pound my fists into Trakan’s face is still overwhelming.You’ve got your target, I’ve got mine.
It’s not the same,I tell myself.It’s not.
9
FARLI
Mardok’s big body is shaking with rage as I lead him away. I do not know what caused the fight between him and his tribesmate, but whatever it is, it is clear to me that it has hurt him at a deep level. He’s silent as he puts on his layers and we go out into the snow once more. A few of my tribesmates are heading back, and we walk with Georgie and Vektal, who are also quiet. It seems that the ship has brought no one happiness except perhaps me and Har-loh’s small family, because she will be better soon. Even Li-lah, who is getting her hearing returned, does not seem excited about the prospect.
It is as if all we have are more doubts and questions, and I do not know if I like it.
We use the pulley to get back down to the bottom of the gorge, and Chahm-pee prances up to me. He’s clearly been waiting here for my return, and I lavish him with praise and attention as we walk back to the village. I might as well, since no one else is speaking. But then the small,neat rows of houses that make up Croatoan come into view, and I see people walking around, pausing to talk. I see the kits playing in the street, Joden and Pacy chasing a ball as Analay and Kae race after them.
It is normal. Good. The sight of it makes me feel better.
Shorshie turns to me, a bright smile on her face that does not quite meet her eyes. “Would you and Mardok like to join us for dinner tonight? I can make something, and it would be an honor to have you visit my fire.”
I look at my mate, but he is far away, his expression distant.
