A knot forms in my throat. “You…what?”
“I saw him charging out of the corner of my eye, and I just…reacted.” His eyes are mere slits, his expression haunted. “I…I flashed back to when I was a soldier. Fired without thinking. I’m sorry.”
I do not know what to say. I am aching inside. He was theone that hurt my poor Chahm-pee. The thought fills me with wounded rage…and yet it is clear from his expression that it was an accident. “I see.”
Mardok gets up. “Listen, I’ve probably been in your ear too much already. I’ll leave you alone to get some sleep. You’re probably tired.”
Tired? Not in the slightest. Not with my body humming at his presence and my heart full of conflicting emotions. But all I know is that he did not mean it, and he has done everything he can to make Chahm-pee better. “It is all right, Mardok.”
“It’s not. I’m all keffed in the head.” He heaves a sigh and moves to the wall. “Better that I leave you alone. You’ll be comfortable in here by yourself.”
“You are leaving?” I do not want him to go. Not now. Not ever.
“I need to.” The look on his face is full of self-loathing, and surprising to me. “Been here a day and I’m keffing up your life. I need to take a step back. Leave you alone.”
Leave me alone? “I do not want to be alone, Mardok.”
“You’ll be fine. Get some sleep.” He moves to the wall and gestures at a panel. “I’ll be asleep in the storage room next door.Just hit this red button if you get scared and I’ll come find you.”
Scared? Of the dark? Like a kit? I bite back my amusement, because he’s leaving and I want him to stay. “Do not go, Mardok.”
But he only shakes his head and taps the panel. The wall opens, and he leaves. After a moment, the wall closes again, and I am in his chamber, alone. The novelty of it lasts only a brief moment. I explore his room, touching his things, trying to learn more about him from them. I see no signs of family, no extra tunics or carefully kept toys from siblings grown up. The squares on his desk are puzzling—they openup to nothing but a bunch of white slips with black squiggles on them. I pick one up, smell it, and then put it down again. Smells musty. His furs smell like him, and I climb onto the raised platform of his bedding to wallow in them. Then, when I am tired of sniffing his scent, I get up and approach the panel.
I hit the red button. Something beeps. “I’m coming,” Mardok’s voice calls through the wall, and it sounds strange and hollow. I press my ear to the door, curious. “Where are you? I hear you but do not see you.”
The wall next to me pulls back, and Mardok steps through, looking worried. “Are you all right?”
I pat the wall I have my hands on. “I heard your voice here. How did you get over there?”
His mouth twitches. “I’m not in the wall. That was the intercom.”
“Can we do it again?” I am fascinated. “I want to hear your voice.”
He shakes his head. “Go to sleep. If you’re not scared or you don’t need anything, sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Humph. I say nothing as he leaves. The moment the wall shuts, I hit the button again.
There’s a long pause. “Mardok?” I yell into the wall, where his voice came from earlier. “I wish to speak to you.” I hit the button again, then call out, “Come and talk to me.”
This time, the wall does not speak with his voice. The panel opens and he steps inside again, crossing his arms over his chest like I am a naughty kit. “Farli?”
I beam a smile at him. “You are back.”
“Because you won’t stop pushing the button.” He leans against the entrance and sighs heavily. “Are you scared?”
I clasp my hands in front of my chest. “If I say I am, will you stay and talk to me?”
Mardok glances down the hall one way, then the other. Satisfied, he steps inside and lets the panel slide shut behind him. “I shouldn’t be here.”
“Yes, you should.” My khui begins to sing immediately. This is the perfect place for him to be—with me.
“The captain’s going to have my ass if he finds out.” But he moves past me and heads to one of the squares on the wall, and pulls out extra furs and a pillow. Oh. The squares are storage baskets. How odd. He takes the strange, flat furs and spreads them on the ground next to the bed. “I’ll sleep here, okay? So you won’t be scared.”
I should tell him that I am not scared now, but he will leave. So I just smile brightly at him and move to my bed. “You can sleep up here with me.”
“No,” he says, amusement in his voice. “No, I really can’t. Trust me.”
“I will not take up much room. I promise.”
