Hilda instantly hops onto my pointer finger, not needing a second longer. Her wings flap, giving the perfect shot of her blue chest and grey wings.
‘She can be quite boisterous but when you take the time to show her you’re not a threat, she is very affectionate.’
I scratch her head gently and she nestles into me in return.
Isla sits watching Hilda as she makes herself comfortable in the palm of my hand.
‘Why’d you call her Hilda?’
‘Did you ever learn much about the Vikings?’
I was waiting to see if she recognised the name. It’s hit-or-miss whether people were anywhere near as interested in them as I was as a kid.
Isla hesitantly shakes her head.
‘I remember a story about a woman called Hilda. She was fierce and brilliant in battle, nothing scared her.’ I smile down at the affectionate girl perched on my finger. ‘Exactly like this sassy lady right here.’
Isla watches us and I can practically see her mind working overtime. Lacing my hand gently around hers, I guide her over, silently encouraging her to get closer. She complies, her fingers gently hovering over Hilda’s head.
‘She has quite the personality, which seems to have scared off a lot of potential partners for the lass.’
Isla gasps, pulling her hand back to her heart as her watery eyes take in the resting pigeon in my hand.
‘That’s awful.’ Her voice takes on that waterlogged sound to it again, and my chest constricts.
A tear falls and I quickly pull her into my side to comfort her.
‘Hey, there's no need to be sad.’ I whisper, ‘Trust me, princess. She didn’t want any of them anyway. She deserves the right partner, one to match her energy. Don’t you think?’
Isla sniffles, wiping her cheek. ‘I guess.’
Hilda nudges my palm as if she’s agreeing and Isla giggles softly at the movement. But her slight change in mood doesn’t appease me. This is the second time she has gotten upset since being here.
‘What's troubling you, princess?’ I tuck a strand of black hair from her eyes.
‘I… I don’t know.’ Her watery smile doesn’t meet her soft eyes. ‘I guess I’m feeling all…’ She shrugs. ‘Thank you for all of the stuff. I should have come to talk sooner.’
‘Well baby, I’m always here for a shoulder to cry on when you need it. And anything else you need me to be okay?’
She nods, resting her head against my chest as I hold her. Isla never needs to thank me. I am doing the bare minimum in this situation. She is the one I should be thanking but I’m not quite sure how she’d take a big speech about how grateful I am that she is growing my child so I decide on silently being there for her instead.
And as she finally finds the courage to stroke a sleeping Hilda, I hear her whisper, ‘Okay.’
Chapter twenty
Isla
‘Where are we even going?’ I ask as Liam pulls me after him. It’s been a couple of weeks since my teary-eyed confession and our connection has grown stronger each day since.
I’m glad — although in the moment I felt pretty stupid for my emotional outburst — that we began to clear things up that day. Each time I’ve seen him since I’ve tried my hardest to open up and not be a standoffish bitch. In return, Liam has continued to shower me with gifts of food, comfy clothes and anything else I need.
The night has long since gone dark, the sky cloudy and the air feels thick, like it is going to start raining soon.
‘You’ll see,’ is all Liam answers, not giving me the slightest hint of what is in store for me and it kind of sends a thrill rushing through my body.
Some of the others — always meaning well — have started to treat me like I’m a doll. One that is ready to break at any given moment. Something that has gotten old very quickly. Just because I’ve turned into a bundle of nerves and have a wee baby in my belly doesn’t mean I can’t keep going how I was. If anything, my overthinking has gotten better — now I mainly overthink about baby-related topics rather than anything and everything.
The lack of freedom to look after myself and others had begun to lead me into the same spiral I had entered as a teenager and it is not a happy place to be. Despair and fear for the future was a common place for my mind to wander to as a teen. My mum always told me it was common, those hormones flooding your body and the pressure of deciding what the fuck you want to do with your life was something that no person that age should have to deal with but yet it was so normalised. It was something that everyone was expected to do.
