The big bastard fights for dominance below me and I shift to try to pin him, using the extra weight I carry to my advantage. Only in my tackle for dominance it becomes glaringly apparent to me that this bull of a man is naked. As in cock and balls out naked.
In his raging meltdown, I didn’t quite process his current state of undress, and by the glimpse I managed to get of Vish’s humour-filled expression, we look ridiculous rolling around on the floor together.
I send him a scowl because this fucker has left me to deal with his problem.
Ru completely oblivious keeps fighting me, his fist landing a clean punch to my cheekbone.
‘Stop moving, man. I donotenjoy feeling your fucking dick up against me.’
As expected Ru stops, his fight leaving him as my shouted words sink in. He roars, pushing me off of him, but Vish, the bigmouth, just has to goad him. Chatting shit about his nudity all from the safety of the doorway.
Ru doesn’t retaliate like we both expect, he just deflates. ‘She’s gone,’ he admits and my heart aches for him.
Both Vish and I listen to what Ru has to say, watching as the strongest guy I know trusts us with such a deep level of vulnerability.
One I completely understand.
‘Well,’ I clap, trying to bring the mood up in any way I can. ‘Let’s go get your girl.’ And with that, we walk out the door and begin helping to hunt his girl.
‘Gonna stop pure stomping about,’ Ruaridh snaps back at me.
He’s in a pissy mood. I don’t blame the lad since we have spent the entire day checking through buildings with no results. I tried to tell him I’d searched most of them a few days ago so I doubted his girl would be in any of them but he was having none of it and demanded we look anyway, clearly not trusting my abilities on this one.
Now the afternoon is turning dark and our chances of finding Fauna are slimmer by the hour. So he’s taking his irritation out on Vish and me.
Vish got the most of it for the first few locations, Ruaridh scowling at him for jeopardising his chances at happiness. Now his mood has soured to include me.
‘Shh,’ Vish hisses. ‘Someone could hear yer.’
Ruaridh shoots a glare promising pain at us but nods his head in agreement. We wouldn’t usually care about anyone hearing us but since we are trying to find someone we don’t want to go making too much of a racket before we find her, or else we’ll scare her off. Then we would have to deal with an even pissier Ru and I don’t think I can handle much more of his attitude.
‘He’s raging,’ I whisper to Vish. ‘What we gunna dae if we don’t find her?’
‘We’re gonna find the lass. I cannae be dealing with two of ye like this.’
‘Eh?’
Vish chuckles, ‘ye’ve hardly been a ray av sunshine yer self.’
He’s not wrong. These past months I’ve had my mind completely focused on one thing and one thing only, finding my girl. The universe is clearly getting a massive kick outta putting my leader and me in the same situation.
Ru hasn’t acted like this, ever. And it is as if I’m looking into a mirror or watching myself from a far. His permanently rigid body, tense muscles, features formed into a scowl are all too familiar to how I’ve been recently. My body nor my mind ever allowed to rest.
We all know the nightmare we live. How dangerous and brutal the world is around us and knowing your heart belongs to another, someone who may be in danger sends us feral. We will never rest until we find them and know for certain that they are safe.
Part of the fear is dramatic and unfounded, especially since the women who have taken our hearts have survived seven years of anarchy without us, but that logic has no pull over us. We’re long past reasonable thoughts, and I can’t help the overwhelming tightness gripping my chest from not knowing if today will be the day that life strikes and rips them away.
I’ve seen plenty fierce survivors of all genders fall at the hands of bad luck. No matter how strong, smart or careful they were, all it took was one wrong move to kill them.
I can’t bear for that to be the case for my beauty, and I’d place bets that those exact cycle of thoughts are raging through Ru’s mind ahead of me.
I’m not a religious man and I’ve never been one to beg but I add Ru’s girls name to the mantra of pleads I have been repeating over the winter to keep my girl safe, and now his too.
The abandoned school looks as if it is on its last legs along with half of the other buildings in the city. A large proportion of the metal cladding has rusted with the wet conditions that bless Scotland most of the time, the once colourful walls have faded with sun exposure and weeds have overtaken any cracks in the cement playground.
If I were to just look at this building on its own merits I’d assume it was in the middle of nowhere. On the outskirts of a town that left it to be abandoned but with a quick glance around I see the derelict tenements. This building once full of hope and aspirations is just as abandoned as the rest of the overgrown city I call home. And probably similar to the rest of the country.
After searching all day Ru found his girl. There were a few hickups, but she is back firmly cemented to his side, and I have spent my time desperately trying to distract myself from the rising jealousy within me. Once he had her back we agreed toreturn to her girls. Vish is already in the school with them, so hopefully we aren’t going to walk into a bloodbath.
