Two years ago, we had to move to a different location, and by how many people were in attendance tonight, I had a suspicion that they would have to move again.
I was required to attend because Thomas was required to attend. My betrothed, my owner. The man who took me under his wing and forced me to learn his way of life.
Their way.
And now I was here again, like clockwork, watching the next batch of lost souls get sold around the Church of Daylight. Some of them would be Favorites recycled through the seven churches and their branches, some would be new blood, sold to the church to pay off a debt or offered up for a comfortable life somewhere on the hill.
The new ones would fall for the kind smiles and promises of a better future, and the seasoned ones would know exactly what to do in order to get a better Pillar for themselves.
Although their choices were never good.
I knew, deep in my heart, that I should be feeling something for them, especially the younger ones, but something inside of me had been broken for so very long.
I no longer had the capability to feel anything at all. Not even sorrow for the kids that didn’t know any better.
This was their fate. They would either live by the laws of Daylight, or they would be carted off to Absolution and never seen again. It’s just how things worked in this world.
But if they were chosen, all they had to do was follow the rules. If they followed the rules, maybe they wouldn’t get the lashings I had gotten.
Or maybe they would. Maybe they would all have the same scars I now had.
The truth was that I couldn’t be sure how it would actually end for them. We weren’t allowed to speak to each other. Not unless our owners permitted it, and mine never did.
Thomas had been fairly kind to me until the day my mother had died. The second I became a ward of the church the warning slaps turned into lashings. The kind touches all became cruel. The Leaders started to show their true colors as if they had all been afraid that she would have taken me away from them if they had said the wrong thing.
The leashes were cut the second they buried her, and I had adapted as quickly as I knew how.
Today was different though. Today, I could feel a new pair of eyes on me from where we stood on the far-right side of the room. We were near the front of the stage, but still a healthy distance away.
Despite the fact that he always wanted to stand close enough to see the stains on their clothes and hear the whimpering of the new ones, Thomas never bid on anyone, even though he preached about saving them all the time to the other sons of the Leaders. His father, however, Pastor Masters, liked saving them. He liked redeeming them, giving them the ‘wings of God’. The ability to flourish, to stay out of Absolution.
I knew nothing about Absolution, even now. I didn’t know exactly where it was or what happened when you got there, but I did know it was somewhere I never wanted to go.
The weight of those eyes came and went, but they were always warm. They weren’t cold like most I’ve felt over the years, and they certainly weren’t as chilling as the eyes I had seen at 9 years old. Although no gaze had ever been as chilling as his.
I had to follow the rules and keep my eyes down, so I wouldn’t see who was behind me, but I think even Thomas knew that tonight was a night I would gladly take my punishment so long as I could see the faces on that stage. I had to see their faces. I didn’t know why, I just…I needed it.
So when the room went silent and Pastor Masters greeted the room, I prepared myself for the inevitable. My body tensed, my stomach twisting. I’d get a few lashings across my back, more scars to add there, but the pain would be worth it.
“God says love is everywhere. In the air we breathe and the words we share, but more importantly, He says that there is no greater love than the innocent love of a child. Unfortunately, these children have committed a great sin, and it is our job to save them. We must show them the beauty of love and forgiveness. Teach them the ways of God and His everlasting grace. We do have returners tonight as well, some who are very eager to find their new home. With that being said, here I give you this year’s group.”
Soft claps erupted around the room and my eyes lifted instantly, lingering on nothing and no one but that line of children they were ushering on stage. None of them younger than 12 this year, no older than 17.
17 was a little old to be up there though which told me that he was definitely a Favorite here for the second time. After tonight, if no one found him good enough, he’d be shipped off, never to be seen again. At least not by the people at my church.
I could see the fear in some of the children’s eyes, but also a glassiness in others. They must have been drugged to be put up there without screaming. I wondered what debt their parentswere trying to pay off or which of them had been born into the church and were now being sold tonight for a paycheck so their parents could live comfortably.
Thomas’s hand wrapped tightly around my wrist, a sharp pain erupting up my arm.
My eyes shot down, my heart pounding. They would be treated well, I knew they would be. All they had to do was follow the rules, that’s all. If they followed the rules, everything would be fine.
~ ~ ~
June 23rd, 2019
My favorite story wasAlice’s Adventures in Wonderland.When I was growing up, I was only allowed one book outside of the books the church provided, and at 4 years old, that’s the book I chose.
I had loved everything about it since the very first sentence. Alice and her bravery, the white rabbit, all of the friends she meets along the way, but my absolute favorite character was the Queen of Hearts. Mother always questioned me.
