I had seen enough of their children to know that the church hand-plucked the people they wanted to reproduce to expand and those they didn’t. I had had my suspicions that they were doing something to keep those they thought of as ‘unworthy’ from giving birth. I should have guessed birth control was not savage enough for someone like him.
“Why they didn’t share it with the good Pastor and his son is a question I will find an answer to. For now, focus on what you have to shut down tomorrow. Let the rage fester.” I released her chin. “Do you take medication?”
She wiped her cheeks, leaving streaks of my drying blood in the wake of her fingers.“Yes,”she signed and gestured towards the bathroom.
I walked right into her bathroom and opened her medicine cabinet, finding three bottles sitting on the top shelf, written out to ‘Scarlett Harris’. The doctor at the church must have been providing it for her without telling Thomas. Maybe Garrett knew. Maybe he knew and wasn’t telling his son, or maybe Thomas was just too stupid to ask questions.
The sooner I switched her over to my doctor, the better.
She had been prescribed HRT, Progestin, and a low dose of SSRIs.
SSRIs could lead to emotional blunting. Is that why she was so easily controlled? Why I could glimpse the rage and madness in her, but nobody else could?
I tapped it several times before taking a step back. I didn’t trust anything they gave her, but I couldn’t take it away yet, stopping her cold turkey without running my own checkup. I would need to ask the doctor how we could go about helping her quit. She didn’t need anything blunting her emotions. I wanted her fully aware of all she was when I took that precious virginity away from her.
I shut the cabinet and turned back to the room, finding her watching me, the blood smeared across either cheek, still covering her left hand, her eyes red, but clear. How much more would she shine if she didn’t have those pills?
But that wasn’t the only thing I noticed. Something in her eyes had shifted. There was fear and anger in her now, and this time, it was pointed at me.
I stepped back into the living room, watching her take a small step back, my smile growing, her eyes dropping to my shoes. Oops, I had given her too much time to think. “Now, now, darling, if you’re going to glare with that kind of emotion, you must look me in the eyes. Let me know how much you loathe me.” She didn’t know it yet, but she would. I thrived off the fight.
Her hands were folded at her hips, squeezing each other tightly, her spine rigid, but her face as passive as it always was.
It took her several seconds to lift her eyes back to mine.“They lust me too,”she told me before settling her hands back at her hips.
She was reverting back to what they taught her because she suddenly saw me as she saw them. Well, that just would not do. “You assume it’s the same,” I sang, slowly walking towards her.
“They put their hardened penises in my mouth. Lust. Your penis is hard. Lust,”she signed angrily.
I could see the war in her body, wanting to take a step back, but the laws engrained into her forced her to remain even as I stalked towards her with a predatory grace. “They stroke their cocks to images of you as a child, Scarlett. They can’t get off without pigtails and a leather corset. I stroke mine to the visions of you covered in blood,” I purred. “At this age, no younger.Painis why I lust. Blood. Murder. Retribution. A balancing of the scales this world has tipped. I lust because I see the way you lust after the same things I crave. You lust after the same things that drove memad,” I sang venomously.
I slid the antlers around her jaw, the fear overpowering the anger in her eyes. “Don’t ever mistake me for them.” I pulled her forward. “For I am so much worse.”
The muscles around her eyes twitched.“I don’t want to…M.A.R.R.Y.you.”
My smile was sharp. “Too bad, little sinner. That’s a choice you do not have.” I released her jaw, relishing in the anger simmering in her eyes. “Don’t put on those pathetic church clothes they laid out for you, I’ll bring you something they deem appropriate but is more your style.” I picked up my helmet and turned to her. “Be a good little sinning doll, hmm? Let it fester.”
37
Azrael
March 19th, 2023
Icould feel her presence in the passenger seat of my La Voiture Noire. There was no fear wafting from her. No hesitation, just quiet anger.
I had awakened something inside of her, something she was using to fuel her as naturally as a vehicle filled with gas. Which made me wonder, yet again, what those SSRIs were changing within her.
I picked something more fitting for her Sunday service. Still followingtheirrules so they wouldn’t be able to say a thing about it, but something she would feel more confident in to handle what would happen today.
Her hair fell around her in long, beautiful waves. She must have cut it at some point herself because the front was slightly shorter than the back. Once we married, I would ask her if cutting her hair was something she wanted to do. They didn’t allow it here, but if she was my wife, I was allowed to change her in any way I saw fit. They didn’t have to know that it was her choice.
I had found for her a near floor-length black dress with a black collar, and lace sleeves. It had come with a silver chain belt that hung across her hips haphazardly but did not squeeze her body in any other way. The skirt was so pleated that if she decided to spin around, it would reveal everything.
A part of me wondered what she would look like dancing around in this dress. A witch, I think, dancing on the graves of those who burned her at the stake in another life.
She sat in the passenger seat with her hands folded on her lap, the perfume wafting from her skin as the air from the crack in the window gently played with her hair.
She kept looking up and back down. Over and over again, staring a little longer each time, worried that those outside of the car would see her being such a sinful woman. I had half a mind to tell her that nobody cared enough to look into the car and see her, but she was so beautiful, I had to hold my tongue, knowing that if they did catch a glimpse of her, they would certainly stare, unable to help themselves.
